BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

User Rating: 4 / 5

LNP scorched earth agenda ramps up after scraping back into government

Raving reporteur for Xenox News, Max Gross, strikes back after two weeks of lying under the dining table in abject despair amid the post-election blues!

• “That’s a slogan, not a policy” – Anthony Albanese
• “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want too test a man’s character, give him power” – Abraham Lincoln
• “He who wins through fraud is not a winner” – Umar ibn al-Khattab (Al-Farooq)
• “Aussies are happy in their materialistic world as long as water is coming out of the tap and nothing bad lands on their doorstep” – Sue C.

There is a scene in Beneath The Planet Of The Apes where the last surviving “intelligent” humans are praying in the nuked remains of a cathedral and, in a moment of awful revelation to the long-suffering Nova and Brent as a nuclear missile rises from a silo underfoot, pull their faces off to reveal the grotesque, skinless reality beneath human-looking masks: these “humans” are deranged mutants intent of destroying the entire planet and everything on it.

That’s precisely how I felt when early on Election Night it became obvious that not only had Labor lost the “unlosable election” but that interim PM Morrison – the cack-handed Pentacostal nutter, that smug, barking, smirking used car salesman and interim leader of the raving rightwing wingnut LNP – had won.

My fellow Australians were revealed as grotesque freaks intent on destroying the world.

Read more: BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

Democracy not what it is cracked up to be...

User Rating: 5 / 5

Sometimes it's just gotta be direct action.

Aussie Election 2019!

Aussie elections. Do they never fucking end? That’s the way it seems to us at least...

Nonetheless, you can be sure XenoxNews.com will be there. Covering the election like Barnaby eyeballing a winsome lass in a Tamworth Pub.

Read more: Aussie Election 2019!

The only 'Void' is the one we live in

Heading down the dunny till the shit floats by.

I was just doing a load, and on the phone, when it passed my mind that the mythical 'Void' philosophers have been pulling from their arse for so many godamn centuries, may be in fact what we are living in now.

Read more: The only 'Void' is the one we live in