“My husband and I haven’t fucked for over 30 years,” the Royal declared from her Buckingham Palace balcony to the thousands gathered at her official birthday celebrations,
“In fact I can’t stand the thought of his Greek sausage being anywhere near my Royal vagina.”
As her subjects stood with their mouths agape, Queen Liz went on to say that she wanted the world to know she was a lipstick lesbian who liked nothing more than enjoying the pleasures of a sensual women.
“Having reached the ripe old age of 80 I thought it was only fitting that I should let my subjects know that I can no longer keep up the charade of my marriage,” said Queen Liz the Licker,
“So from now on I am moving in with my long time lover Liza Minelli.”
Sights like this used to get Monarchist David Flint in a right-royal tizz!
XenoxNews sought comment from Australia’s 70 year old PM John Howard, a staunch monarchist, but a spokesman told us he was still in shock from the Queen’s announcement.
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Comments (13)
Chato
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Howard and Flint ARE lesbianese, and would be overjoyed if they could share their bed with Liz. (Is being being a cunt the same as having a cunt?) |
misha
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I heard on that TV show on Channel 9 that broadcasts what it thinks passes for "news" these days, that Her Mejesty has "served" the Commonwealth (what's left ot it, anyway)... Can someone please tell me what it is she actually DOES? |
Anonymous
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Got any video footage of the two Lizzies at it? Man I'd give my left leg for some of that action! Talk about a right royal root! Der Willikopf |
Anonymous
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OK. I’ve got no video, but I can tell you what I saw. Liza with a Z was at the end of the bed (a 4 poster), bent over like a jeweler with a 20 carat diamond. The object of her affection? The Queens cunt. The doors were closed and the servants all sent away. Slowly Liza’s tongue crept up Queen Liz's thigh. Her hands playfully toyed with the Royal nipples. Got the picture? Minnelli playfully swept over the monsveneris with her moist tongue, her fingers felt inside the top Windsor’s fanny for the G-spot. Man this is all wrong! The right royal clit stood to attention as Liza M stuck her fist in...there hasn't been moans like this in the palace since Lady Di had her Egyptian lover stick his cock up her arse. As Minnelli flicked the clit our Monarch rocked back and forth in a pleasure us hoi polloi can only dream of. She owned half of England and now she was getting fucked by the cream of American culture. The half a g of coke they had both snorted certainly didn’t hurt either. "You and me", said Liza M, "Fit so tight." The climax, as they say, was an anti-climax...Phil the Greek stormed into the room and demanded his fair share. Our queen told him to get fucked and lay back exhausted, her majestic mission fulfilled. "Liza", says our head of state, "can you do it again?" |
Chato
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Christ! What a filthy rag Xenox can be. BTW, after JWH visited HRH, she gave up the corgis. Maggot didn't grow that lower lip by sucking on iceblocks! |
FrankBlues
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Well one mans meat is another womens poison... We aint fair company at this rag it seems. Ive been banned from one place for daring to prick their balloon of compassion... But then again I was pissed! Keep up the good work Chato et al... Ive got a pier to walk off. |
Anonymous
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those cunting Windsors are inbreed to the nth degree. children born out of the most ritualistic satanic ceremonies. the crown she wears has the blood of 4 million irish children embedded. The C of E is naught but a cattlehouse for satans vermin Queen Liz your vile breath has covered our land for too long Off with her head and the rest of her wretched brood. Phineas Finnegan Joyce Cork |
Anonymous
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Liz. She has been there since year dot. I like that pic of her geting out the car. Does she piss? Does she shit? My face is down there again, sticking a pen up her fanny; eating Diana's entrails threw her burnt out fanny. Nothing a good Satanist wouldnt do. |
Right Royal Lover
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Wasn't it wonderful to see Queen Liz and hubby Phil the Greek back in old Melbum town! I am sure she is enjoying herself. Which raises the question... I wonder if she is still banging Liza Minelli? |
Ricardovitz
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Lesbians is ugly man-hatin devils. Tain't nothin cute er perty 'bout none of em. Theyd slice yer balls off 'n leave ya to bleed out like a stuck pig if git on thar bad side - man or gal, dern't make no nevermind to em. |
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