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INVESTING IN JESUS

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In these pragmatic times how does an
ultra-materialistic christian get the
spiritual Saviour on-side?


If you are a John-loving, cross-waving, bible-owning,
piece of subhuman shit, you will sooner or later
have to make some sort of offer to that pathetic and
laughable loser named Jesus.

What a miserable example he gave to his howardly faithful.
No property portfolio, no shares - he was not even a
blood-sucking landlord. He had no money, and apart from
making his own cross was obviously some sort of bludger.

How can a true son of market-reform appeal to this loser
for his soul's salvation and hide his superior smirk?
It is a terrible fix to be in. Maybe the superior investor
could set up some kind of family-trust to hide his assets
from the all-seeing eye of God. He will have to consult
his accountant - maybe a contribution to the righteous
Liberal Party could get Jesus on side.

How does one do it? Take all one's plunder to Heaven
just in case Heaven gets a bit dull. What about the
sleazy property market that has made so many parasites
enormously wealthy? Is that still on in Heaven?

Fuck you Jesus! Fuck you for making life so complicated
for good yuppies. Where is your compassion, you cunt?

http://mauriegee0.tripod.com/art.htm
Comments (6)add comment

Lusty Les said:

Forget about fucking Jesus...
what about his Virgin Mother? Ripe for the rogering I reckon.
November 16, 2006

Unregistered said:

Les, you are a very bad man!
November 16, 2006

Unregistered said:

Not only is the "dry eye" index high after Irwin's self-destruction, but the eyes will be drier still with the news that Milton Fucking Friedman has croaked!
That rotten old cunt was the satanic "spiritual" godfather of Thatcher and that neofascist turd, non-core Howard.
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*
November 16, 2006

Unregistered said:

But remember Friedmen was all in favour of legalising drugs.
"Leave it to the market" he said.

If we had only followed that sage advice we would all be at peace now.
Osama would be happy on the bong; instead of toting a gun.
Dubya would be coked to a stand still.
And our PM? Well who knows? If he had not refused that toke on the joint back in 1965....
November 16, 2006

Unregistered said:

I know that the IPA is the authority on these matters, but I reckon Howard sucked so much dope that it shrunk his body and put the Aussie public into a coma by mere contact with the little dope-fiend!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*
November 16, 2006

Venting Wasabi said:

How come all those christians believe in the walking dead? I mean, jesus supposedly "rose from the grave", right? That makes him a zombie! Did he go after Judas and eat his brain?
November 18, 2006

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