Answer: I don't know. Ask Patriot maybe.
2. My Missus came home last night smelling of mushrooms. Had she been eating dick?
Answer: What the fuck! You mean tha bitch had a husband!
3. I am ashamed to admit I support the dear leader in public. Should I tell my friends I voted for 70 year old Aussie PM Howard?
Answer: Sure, tell them. Most likely they did as well but that won't stop them whinging about the 'guvvernment' and 'lying politicians'.
4. I was in the shower just now having a wank and my dick started bleeding. Should I tell my mum?
Answer: I leave that one to our readership.
5.. I staggered out the backdoor last night and flopped down on the grass. Crazy thoughts filled my mind; what if I am divine? What if I am truly god? I got up and strutted like a new born cock 'o' roost. It must be true, right?
Answer: For me this question does define the new millennium; am I god and how will our society accommodate this? I have no answer. Keep falling down perhaps.