Xenox News

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large jar behind the counter, filled to the brim with ten dollar notes. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it and approaches the bartender to ask, "What's up with the jar?"

Bartender: "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass four tests, then you get all the money."

Man: "What are the three tests?"

Bartender: "Pay first. That's the first rule."

So the guy gives him the ten bucks and the bartender adds it to the jar.

Bartender: "OK, here's what you have to do...
First you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila - the WHOLE thing at once - AND, you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, there's a nasty pit-bull chained up out back with an abscessed tooth ... you have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life... You gotta make things right for her.

Man: "Well, I know I've paid my ten bucks but I'm not an idiot. I won't do it. You'd have to be nuts to drink a gallon of tequila - and you'd just get even crazier from there. "

Bartender: "Your call, mate. But your money stays in the jar. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he finally yells out to the barman, "Wherez zat tseqeeelah?" He grabs the gallon of pepper
tequila with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but, as required, he doesn't make a face.

Next he staggers out back, and soon all the people inside hear a huge scuffle going on in the yard.
They hear barking and screams, yelping and low growling, eventually fading away into silence. Just when they think the man must surely be dead, he bursts in the back door, staggers up to the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body..."NOW," he bellows, "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"