The view during your ride on the elevator to hell...

Don't say I didnt warn you!

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I'm gonna talk to ya 'bout the reincarnation of Evil Women. Y'all probally never heard 'bout Dagmar Overbye, She was a Danish murderer of li'll children. Dagmar done killed someware's 'bout 25 children – of which one was her own – from 1913 to 1920.Dagmar worked as a nursemaid 'n nanny, watch'n bastard babies born to whores 'n loose sluts She strangled 'em, drowned 'em or burned 'em to death in her masonry heater. The dead babies was either cremated, buried or hidden in the loft.

Them Danes finally caught up with her 'n sentenced her to death. Then them castrated Danes git scared 'n commuted Dagmar's punishment to life in prison. She died mysteriously in prison on May 6, 1929. She was 46.

Now, why is this important??? Cuz, now I'm gonna tell you 'bout another murder'n mommy - Casey Anthony. Casey Anthony had a li'll baby girl named Caylee - a bastard baby girl. Well, good time Casey she was right busy goin to sex parties, fornicatin with this boy 'n that boy, lesbian-lick'n with other women, 'n all sorts of evil whatnot. She steals, lies, whores, spreads her slutty legs fer any 'ol flesh worshipin demon who'll git near that nasty thang.

Well, one day li'll miss Casey decides that she ain't gittin 'nuff meat stuffed 'tween her legs cuz her lill baby Caylee is jest gettin in her way. So, Casey, she fixes up a batch of Chloroform 'n gives it to li'll Caylee, 'n raps a whole bunch of Duct Tape 'round Caylee's head jest to make sure she's gonna be good-n-dead.

Where is our guardian angel to protect us from these sluts of Satan?

So, li'll Caylee is all drugged 'n duct-taped up, dead 'n rotten in Casey's car trunk fer 5 days. Smelt like dead-rotten baby flesh cooked up in thar Florida sun fer 5 days. "N what do Casey do? She drive that thar dead-baby-smellin car 'round, go 'bout partyin, fornicatin with this boyfriend 'n that boyfriend, 'n livin it up. Yessiree, she even git herself a tattoo sayin "life is good". Made up a whole pack of lies 'bout Granny the nanny, her pappy drownin Caylee in the swimmin pool, 'n jest one lie right on another. She finally git 'round ta dumpin that dead-rotten baby in a swamp 'bout 1 mile from her house. One Judge done told Casey "You 'n the Truth is 'bout as familiar as Queen Elizabeth 'n Hog-Shit".

Would you trust this man with your children?

That thar Dagmar done come back as Casey Anthony. Same evil venomous female devil. Bastard mak'n baby killers. Them Danes shoulda burned that Dagmar 'n pounded a wooden cross to her heart. Till Y'all learn to recognize real evil, 'n do somethin bout it - some baby-killin devil will seek out one of yer babies fer the next killin. Wise up folks, evil lives.

Crime Reporter: Ricardovitz

A crime wave has hit Sydney and rational folks is scratch'n thar heads tryin to figure it all out. Lebanese Muslims have time 'n time again been caught threatening and intimidating police, shooting at a police station, extortion of restaurant owners, performing armed robbery, importing 'n peddling dope to kids, raping and killing of Australians in racial attacks. These are some of the frightening crimes allegedly perpetrated by Lebanese Muslim crime gangs.

Or, is it the Ghost of John Wayne Glover?

We was investigatin a well known professor at a particular university in Clayton who is involved in the Islamic Studies program. Dr Salam Yucer claims that many of these crimes for which Muslims are being blamed are an injustice and travesty to all Muslims legally and illegally living in Sydney. Dr. Yucer claims to be conducting cutting-edge research which leads directly to the Ghost of John Wayne Glover being behind the majority of these crimes.

Y'all might recall that John Wayne Glover was a British-born Australian serial killer convicted for the murders of six elderly women on Sydney's North Shore. Over a fourteen month period in 1989/90, Glover killed six elderly women for which he became dubbed the "granny killer". Following arrest in 1990, he gleefully admitted to the murders and was sentenced to consecutive terms of life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. He was found hanged in prison on September 9, 2005. The Coroner declared it a suicide, but Dr. Yucer claims to have found evidence that Glover was beaten, raped, tortured and then hanged in a prison execution. There is an unconfirmed investigation still pending into this matter by Australian Security Intelligence probing into a possible secret underground society being behind the execution.

Life in prison has its perks.

Our team discovered that Glover had a long history of drug related offenses and strong ties to the most influential of the Middle Eastern crime groups in Australia the "Telopea Street Boys". They and their associates have been involved in numerous murders over the past ten years, many of them unprovoked fatal attacks on young Australian men for no other reason than that they are "Skips", as they call Australians.

The evidence gathered at each of the more recent murders shows that the the violent murders mirror the methodology employed by Glover. Blunt objects, almost identical to the hammer used by Glover, have been identified as the most likely murder weapon. Even details, not previously released to the public have Dr. Yucer and some police officials baffled over the similarities in these crimes.

Did Glover have a partner in the granny killings? Could that partner be one of the Telopea Street Boys? Was Glover working for the Telopea Street Boys? These questions remain unanswered at this time, but Dr. Yucer doesn't think so. He and his team are convinced that this crime wave is being conducted by the Ghost of John Wayne Glover, or perhaps John Wayne Glover himself. Photos of Glover's death have never been released to the public and Dr. Yucer's team claims to have found evidence to substantiate their claim: Same weapon; same stalking technique; same method of disposal of the bodies and other evidence which they are not prepared to release.

XenoxNews.com Crime Correspondent: Ricardovitz

Take a gander at this, boys 'n girls.

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This here, Gay Hendrix 'n his band of castrated gypsies is what queer-folks wanna turn y'all into. These homosexual retards, also knowed as "sextards" dern't git no reckonin 'bout what a woman wants.

Well, I'm a here ta tell all you boys out thar that no woman, not even one of them bull-dike lesbians who done git gang raped by thar paps 'n uncle 'n whatnot when theys li'll dern't give one whoot fer a bunch of cry-babby, sackless faggots pretendin ta be men appologizin to 'em fer nothin more than what come natural to a real man.

Woman is fer pump'n out li'll pups. God gave 'em big titties, 'n a smelly cooter fer so no more reason than ta git a NORMAL man all stirred up ta ware he can't do nothin but git all over that smelly cooter. "N God done give woman half a brain so's not ta let some sextarded, half-peckered, crybaby queer git noware's near that smelly cooter of hers. God done made a man's brain bigger than woman, cuz part git ta be dedicated to proper reactin to that thar cooter smell. 'N part gotta be ready fer what happen after a man git all over them big titties 'n smelly cooter.

That's right, boys 'n girls. That thar woman git thar seed 'n her, 'n then she gonna be pumpin out some pups. Now, that man who done git his brains all scrambled by that cooter smell is gonna have ta use all his wits jest ta keep that woman 'n her pups under his thumb! Tain't easy, but that's why God git men a bigger brain 'n heaftier muscles. Gonna take all that 'n then some jest ta survive an ornery baby-makin machine.

I'm thinking of getting a new t-shirt made up for me which has in big letters on the front:

"I'm a fucking greenie. What are you fucking going to do about it you lousy redneck cocksucker?"

I thought I might get a few opinions on the wording before I get it printed up?

Is the message to vague i.e. should I put in something about the environment etc?

When it comes to turning a phrase or slogan I'm not the best. Is it confrontational enough or can I make it sing a little better?

I would be most appreciative if some of you wordsmiths could re-write it for me before I go to the t-shirt printer!