Xenox News

What Will The Australian Sheeple Do Next? SYDNEY, Australia -- An underground sect of the Sydney Homosexual community has called on the country's farmers to report any ugly sheep found in their flocks.

The underground campaign dubbed "Xtreme sheep" aims to identify sheep with undesirable and kinky wool features for perverse seuxal exploits.

The Australian Homosexual Research and Development Institute (AHRDI) said on Tuesday its search for "Australia's ugliest merino lambs" may hold the key to Homosexual Procreation; a project that the underground gay and lesbian society has relentlessly pursued in Australia due to stricter moral codes in the United States and various European nations.

An AHRDI representative, who wishes to remain unnamed, said ugly lambs -- with uneven wool, strange fibers, clumps of wool that fall out, bare patches, no wool, or highly wrinkled skin -- are usually gang raped by groups of homosexual sex devients during ritualistic worship and sex practices.

"Before sending them to the slaughterhouse, we've asked farmers to talk to us first, because gang raping ugly animals with extreme features offers one of the most efficient ways to find good genes that can impact on Homosexual procreation.

"It might seem a paradox that ugly wool may be good for identifying genes of sheep that can bond with genes of certian homosexual men and women, but when looking through a genetic profile, the random genetic mistakes act like a flag, speeding up our search to finding the critical genes" the unidenfitied sheeple told reporters. Of course, it has also been reported that this underground cult ingests large quantities of Viagra and Methanphetamine to make make the sheep look attactive enough to gang rape.

The researchers hope the study will lead to improvements in Australia's sheep population, making certian "parts" stretchier, less scratchy, shinier and easier to spin, thus enhancing the cult follower's experiences.

So far only 10 ugly sheep have been found this lambing season, which stretches from April to September, when statistically there could be hundreds, the researchers said. One researcher feared that an alleged competing group, called the Australian Arab Sheep Rape and Development Institute (AASRDI) may be secretly gathering ugly sheep for a similar, but competing study.