Xenox News

The Le Grande chair is the “new” addition to your backyard furniture this year.
Whether your entertaining business colleagues at a barbecue or screwing your 16 year old niece at a family get together, this chair is for you.
Constructed out of sturdy maple wood from the backwoods of Canada the Le Grande is the latest chic of backyard living. Designed so as to enable easy construction by the buyer, this chair will have the neighbours talking and their wives bending over with its sleekness and durability.

Plush arm rests guide you down as your arse fills a nice rounded cushion. Lying back, multiple robotic arms reach around to massage and sooth you, while a nicely lubricated artificial tongue strokes your scrotum with an effortlessness that will have you in heaven with Allah and his 40 virgins. Battery enabled switches can have the chair screened by a fine tarpaulin mesh to block out the hot sun, or a waterproof screen to keep those showers away. It is truly a design worthy of purchase.

As it gently vibrates you at the mystical frequency of 1/pi, your mind will drift to places never thought of before. Giant gazelles will graze on your backyard, naked nymphs will clean your willie, and you will be in conversation with the philosophers of old. The Le Grande is the backyard chair for the man about town. Grab it, smash it over the wife’s head, with it murder is allowed. Deep and dark secrets revealed as you sit your butt down and dominate your world. The Le Grande, like all the accessories in your house, tells the world that you are Boss, you won’t be fucked around with. Out in the naked universe the dew of your dick feeds the starving millions. Will you not take this chair my friends; sit your self down, and allow the throbbing of your mind to flow down to your knackers and impregnate any bitch that this way comes.



Have one, why not have a dozen?

Fuck them all; tell them you will not be fucked with.

“I have a Le Grande and every cunt that comes in my backyard will be fucked upon it. I am an evil son-of-a-bitch; please come visit me”

Place your Le Grande chair just besides the BBQ. Cook up a storm. You will not be disappointed.


Orders here:do not dispute