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MAX GROSS VISITS THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN WASHINGTOON

Having splurged like a drunken cowpuncher in a Texas whorehouse - showering his crooked corporate mates, colonialist robber barons and christian carpetbaggers with historic tax cuts - L’i’l W now plans to slash and burn his way through the poor end of Busted Ass USA in a desperate bid to fabricate an air of fiscal management.

And with the delusional GWB and his creepy-jesus cronies in charge of the cookie jar and the scattergun for another term, a once great democratic nation continues to unravel at the seams.

When born-again Texas de-ranger GWB shamelessly stole into office via the 2000 Florida coup, he inherited a big fat budget surplus $U.S.236 billion. Today, L’i’l W forecasts a record deficit of $U.S.427 billion for 2005, including war costs. For 2006 he expects a deficit of $U.S.390 billion, excluding spending in Iraq and Afghanistan.

GWB’s proposed “budget” ditches crucial programs that aid the poor, scraps funding for critical environmental protections, and fakes a “reduction” in the deficit by leaving out ballooning war expenditure and the cost of the Bush push to bankrupt social security and public education. Not to mention even more pork-barrelling tax cuts for his filthy rich posse members, the Hole-in-the-Truth Gang.

Mmm, get some, yeah, boy howdy, bring it o­n!

With the stench of their lies, avarice and colonialist ambition encircling the globe, the neo-con maggots gnaw away at the U.S. constitution and a wary, nervous world watches the most powerful rogue state go ga-ga at a rapid pace. It ain’t a pretty sight.

GWB’s phoney preachy policies are directly responsible for the more than ten thousand (so far) U.S. wounded and dead, the tens of thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children killed, the hundreds of billions of dollars diverted from other critical purposes, the lies, the distraction from and gratuitous extension of the “war o­n terror,” the moral and political catastrophe of systematic torture, and the draining of good will toward and sympathy for America after the 9/11 terrorist attacks which, in an historically obscene and repugnant display of political opportunism, the Shrub has used to further his delusions and the venal aims of his wealthy supporters.

Whew! And l'i'l W's second term just started!

I’ve seen some ker-razy numbers! The Pentagon scored the biggest budget blow-out with a 4.8% boost to $U.S.419 billion – a cocaine-crazed increase of 41% since 2001. Add in the extra $U.S.81 billion “supplemental” budget request for the Iraq and Afghanistan disasters, and the military glut grows into an ever expanding mushroom cloud of $U.S.500 billion.

Hmm, I wonder how many broken sewerage pipes that kind of moolah could fix in Iraq.

Then there’s the $400 million Bush wants for some of the nations that GWB’s goon squad bribed, bullied and bullshitted into joining the Coalition of the Wilting (COW) Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Bushies call it a reward to COW members for taking "political and economic risks."

I wonder how much Tonga will get?

But, um, like, don’t we usually call those who fight for money “mercenaries”?

Oh yeah, that’s right: there’s GWB’s latest tweak of the poverty draft, where a $500,000 death benefit is to be paid to families of soldiers killed in either Iraq or Afghanistan (but NOT applicable to anyone else in the military killed in the line of duty).

Five hundred thousand stiff o­nes! Now that’s a sum worth fighting for, right Dwayne? Right Hakeem? Lose a son but pay off your mortgage!

But wait, there’s more!

Didn’t old Saddass Hussein do the same thing, pay people who were martyrs for their cause?!

But he’s the bad guy, right, because he killed and imprisoned and tortured all those people, and L’i’l W is the, um, like good guy, right? because he, um, kills and imprisons and tortures all those… oops!

WTF, who knows, maybe paying juicy bonuses will finally stop U.S. soldiers from nicking Iraq’s precious archaeological artefacts and selling them over the border to art merchants in Jordan and Kuwait?

Demonstrating his loony toon agenda, GWB’s delusional obsession with Saddam Hussein’s lucrative oil wells – not “Weapons of Mass Destruction” – has diverted resources from the now-forgotten hunt for the man held responsible for 9/11, that old reprobate Osama Bin Laden. Remember him?

Ah, yes, Osama, Osama, where art thou Osama?

Federal aviation officials reviewed 52 intelligence reports between 1 April and 10 September 2001 that warned about bin Laden or Al Qaeda but didn’t do a thing about it.

And a just released memo proves (for the umpteenth bloody time) that the White House WAS warned at the start of the Bush neo-con takeover that al Qaeda represented a major threat. That warning went unheeded by the Texas de-ranger until the 9/11 attacks. And then GWB helped Osama’s relatives flee the U.S. while all other air traffic was grounded, and then he went and attacked Saddass Hussein… Huh?!

Maybe L’i’l W thought Iraq was Afghanistan? Maybe he thought the Taliban were the same as Al Qaeda? Maybe he thought he could get away with anything he wanted because 9/11 had left so many of us so utterly stunned. Four more years!

How much "collateral damage" will there have been by then?

Did I mention the Bush Regime’s fiscal management credentials?

In just 14 months, under the tender loving care of the inept Coalition Provisional Authority (the U.S. agency which “governed” Iraq between April 2003 and June 2004) $U.S.8.8bn of money set aside to help rebuild Iraq went AWOL.

Former CPA officials have admitted that huge cash payments were made to Iraqi contractors out of the back of pick-up trucks, sackfuls of money were "tossed about like footballs", and plastic-wrapped bundles of $100 notes totalling $2m were used to pay a security contractor.

"We told them to come in and bring a bag," said o­ne former CPA official at a U.S. Senate hearing into the CPA's procedures last month (16/02).

Jesus, the bloody Mafia has better accounting methods than that!

Jesus again, my kids’ girl guide group has better accounting methods than that!

Iraq’s a doddle if you’re in with the in-crowd. Almost every o­ne of the 10 biggest contracts awarded for work in Iraq and Afghanistan went to companies employing former big-shot U.S. government poobahs, and o­n the eve of the Iraq war, at least 9 of the 30 members of the Defence Policy Board - the government-appointed group that advises the Pentagon - had ties to companies that had won more than $U.S.76 billion in defence contracts in 2001 and 2002.

And we all know how much GWB appreciates the over-priced services of creep Veep Dicky C’s former company Hallibutthole. Then there’s the financial giant that was GWB’s biggest supporter throughout his political “career”: Enrot. Y

up, scandalous Enrot, with its many links to the neo-con White House and which deflated like a dead puffer fish in the biggest corporate crash in U.S. history.

The economic repercussions were felt around the world but, before Enrot's management declared bankruptcy, 29 company insiders feathered their nests and stuffed their mattresses by selling stock worth $U.S.1.1 billion between October 1998 and November 2001.

Ah, yes, the sweet smell of excess! As with the bloody fisted war-mongering quacks o­n Capitol Hill, the venal Enrot fraudsters walked away unscathed while the victims of their lies, greed, and corruption continue to suffer. So long, suckers, thanks for the retirement funds, yuk, yuk, yuk! Oh, and by the way LOOK OUT, TERROR ALERT LEVEL ORANGE!

This was Max Gross for xenoxnews.com, feathering his nest, stuffing his mattress, and looking for the bottle opener.