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PASS THE BUCKET & COVER YOUR DRINKS, BOYS, I’M ABOUT TO HURL!

Watching Presidunce George Bullshit’s rabid pooch Cheney on the idiot box the other night as he gave the latest tub-thumping US demand for an invasion of Iraq, I just about tossed my tonsils. And when he linked that sick old reprobate Saddam Hussein to the September 11 atrocities and the Jap attack on Pearl Harbour I dashed for the dunny! Those Washington wankers really do think we’re all morons!

OK, so Saddam is a nasty old fuck whom nobody would miss if he happened to fall down an abandoned oil well and vanished forever. But there’s such a long, long queue of nasty old fucks in power around the world that one wonders what all the barking is really about.

The fact is, Saddam is no Islamic fanatic, he is a secular head (dickhead) of state, and he has nothing to do with those hijacked bloody planes. Certainly, neither that venal dickhead Cheney or anyone else can provide proof of anything, not even a can of mortein. It’s just more of the same old bullshit from Bush and co.

Allow me to pick a few sanctimonious scabs.

In March 1998, during the grotesque Iraq-Iran war, Saddam Hussein ordered a military strike on the Kurdish town of Halabja with gas bombs. An estimated 5,000 civilians were killed and thousands more maimed. Saddam said he was punishing the Kurds for "collaboration" after the town had been successfully attacked by Iran.

That’s right, war IS hell, but the rotten Turkish Government would gas its Kurds too, if it could get away with it. Instead, it just shoots them or locks them in prisons. But the Turks are Yank allies so we won't mention THAT!

Saddam's horrific assault on the Kurds of Halabja is often cited by Presidunce Bush as he and his possie of desperate corporate shysters continue to foam at the mouth and seek a means of distracting the gullible US public from the real issue of concern for Americans: the slowly unravelling corporate scandals in which the President and his most senior advisers are directly implicated.

From day one, as those first monstrous images of twisted corpses of men, women and children flashed through the mass media, the self-righteous expressions of Yank outrage about the treatment of the Kurds has never been matched to the issue of arms sales. But where do you think Saddam gets his fucking “weapons of mass destruction” from? Check this out:

Soon after the attack on Halabja, the glorious US Government - defenders of the free world and pure as the driven fucking snow - approved the export to Iraq of virus cultures and a $1billion contract to design and build a petrochemical plant. And what was that plant to produce? Yep, mustard gas.

And what are we to make of the fucking British government's secret decision to supply Saddam with even more arms-related equipment AFTER he shelled the Kurds in 1998? But even paper PM Blair is starting to worry about the hysterical rhetoric emanating from the Washington cesspool.

And while the then Reagan administration condemned the use of chemical weapons during the eight-year Iraq-Iran war, IT was secretly supplying Iraqi generals with bomb-damage assessments and detailed information on Iranian troop deployments! Jesus, fuck me over again! Get me another friggin beer, for Chrisake!

So, ok, ok, President Saddam Hussein IS a monster! So bad is the mustached one in fact that we should invade Iraq and kill him and anyone standing in the way, right? Hell, NO! Wake up! This is NOT another crap movie starring Schwarzenegger!

Hey, how about a body count? Worst President gets the chop, fair?

Since 1998, George Bush Jr, Bill Clinton, and George Bush Sr have allowed 24,500 air strikes on Iraq. That’s 1.7 million dead Iraqis. Civilians. Men. Women. Children. Get it?

Back in 1998 the evidence against Saddam was obvious, but ignored. The UK and the US were too busy benefiting from Iraq's massive arms procurement program. Now they say Saddam must be king-hit without further ado because he is developing weapons of mass destruction. But there's no evidence given. Shit! The stench of cynicism and hypocrisy rises above that of the rotting corpses.

And remember Afghanistan? Remember Osama? Yeah, that guy! Whatever happened to him? That was some US victory! That’ll teach those Saudi fanatics… um, what?

In its “war on terror” (act of blind vengeance) in Afghanistan, the most powerful nation on earth - which spends $US350 billion a year on defence - attacked a bunch of rag-heads driving around in Toyotas and beating up women who showed their faces. Too bad that war went so fast! I mean, an election is on its way!

No wonder Bush is desperate for a target, ANY TARGET, before corporate investigators finally get to the truth about ENRON and other very, very interesting links to the Wankers in Washington.

Oh shit, there’s that duplicitous old cunt Howard the Duck on the tube again, his tongue so far up George Bullshit’s arse I can see it sticking out of the Presidunce’s ear! Christ on a stick! Get me another beer and a bucket!