Aussie masturbators were hoping this year would be different, with a desperate Costello handing out cash left, right, and center, in an attempt to catch up with Labour leader Kevin Rudd in the polls. But once again, “Iceberg” Costello has failed to fulfil his promise to this key electoral constituency.AMA (Australian Masturbators Association) President Tony Delonzo vented his anger to XenoxNews:
"There has been continuing growth of the Internet and take up of broadband this year. And of course this has led to a spurt in the rate of self-pleasing in Australia. But for the average Aussie dick twanger Costello’s latest budget has been a flop."
A quick survey of the Xenox News office found that other auto-ejaculators were even more forthright.
Frankie B said: “I’m sick of having to scrimp with the tissues to clean up my mess. And so is my wife. It’s time for Costello to put up or shut up!”
Another boldly stated that: “I'm warning them; I pull my dick and I vote!”
“I pull my dick and I vote!”
Some political observers believe that one hope for Aussie dick pullers is that if the Government polling numbers continue to trail the opposition, pressure could be applied to Costello’s boss, and Australia’s top wanker, PM John Howard. Maybe, they say, he will change his mind and do the right thing by the penis punishers.
However, others such as the AMA boss, are talking about approaching the other side:
“Most wankers have been staunch Liberal party supporters, but even we have an end to our patience. Rudd looks like a guy who has enjoyed some solitary time in front of the computer, maybe he will back our call to remove the GST from tissues.”
One thing is for sure, Aussie wankers are set to play an important role in this years election.
As one told Xenox News; “This year we are coming out of the study!”
Old Lonely Leo
said:
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For some naked vixens on the screen, I emptied my sack of it's semen. Now I sit alone and wonder... Oh Lord! For what have I spilt my seed? I watched them frolic and insert in each other, Devices plastic, see through, and green. But now my keyboard is wet and my hands still sticky... Oh Lord! For what have I spilt my seed? |
Chato
said:
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Old Lonely Leo, non-core John obeyed the biblical injunction and spilt not his seed. After a while he ran out of space under the house for the oil-drums filled with spoilt, but not spilt semen. I suggest you avoid Hellsong assemblies, as the sight of so many young, frustrated honeys could prove too much for your tendencies. [God is the way, let us pray, not spray! Amen] |
Shan
said:
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Have you ever heard that history repeats itself, have you heard of sodom and Gomorrah? You animals disgust me with your filthy Satanic sick humor! Rest Assured destuction awaits for animals like you, everlasting destruction, count on it! |
Unregistered
said:
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"filthy Satanic sick humor" - Shan must mean having John Howard as prime minister of Oz. Surely that is the sickest "Satanic" joke that Oz has copped for a long time! May the Good Lord have mercy on his filthy black Satanic soul. - Ex Liberal Voter |
