Xenox News

(In the interests of fair reporting,
John Hogturd PM gets further time
to put his case)


No man thinks more highly than I do of patriotism,
truth and fairness, and yet I have been attacked
for my sincere efforts to steer our nation by the
guiding light that beams from the nether orifices
of the best of the global nobility of wealth.

If I have lied to my nation it was for the best
reasons, you can trust me on that.

If it seems that some have prospered while others
suffered, you have my word that those who suffered
were bludgers or terrorists, or perhaps they were
the defective children of generations of the truly
wicked and useless poor who offend Jesus.

I go to the next election standing on my record.

Did I not protect property values from Iraq plans
to invade Australian real-estate agencies?

Have any of you been invaded by insane Iraqi
terrorists with bits of babies hanging from their
huge arab teeth? Has a weapon of mass destruction
ever been flung through your window?

Wasn't it my policies with the aid of my loyal
CentreLink police who made sure that the poor and
sick would never again blight the wealthy with
unfair twinges of guilt disturbing their sleep?

Does any developer, real-estate agent, banker or
landlord go to bed worried about living in
poverty? Has my government ever failed to collect
a huge load of revenue from the workers, shoppers
and bludgers of Australia?

Have the media barons been complaining about my
style of economic management? Has the Chinese
Communist Government complained? Has Israel
complained? Does Australia not have the cheapest
and most compliant workforce outside of China?

Haven't I inflated property prices to dizzy
heights of untold glory and prosperity?

Isn't the Australian household debt the most
massive ever, and the envy of international
bankers and financiers? Isn't the foreign debt
also a masterpiece of debt building?

Have the Americans complained about their FTA that
I signed? Is the world disturbed at Australia's
massive balance of trade problem?

And wasn't it my Government that managed to
collect that record tax-take through the twin
miracles of the GST and inflation?

Confused voters of Australia, I rest my case.





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