Xenox News

Prime Minister John Howard has had his Christmas sullied following the release of a book by a former room mate from his university days which includes the sensational allegations that the PM regularly wet his bed and was once caught masturbating over a women's underwear catalogue.
"I walked in after studying at the library and there he was lying on the floor giving himself a "hand shandy" says author Keith Gribble. The book entitled "John Howard's A Weirdo" contains many explosive chapters including one story of the time the PM was caught having sex with a blow up doll dressed in cricketing creams.

"I pretended I didn't know about the doll but late at night you could hear him going at it and yelling out "Don Don let me give it to you" said Gribble who shared a dorm room with Howard for six months.

"He used to wear ladies underwear too" claimed Gribble describing the time he came home and found Howard having a cup of tea whilst dressed up in a bra and cotton panties.

"I smashed him for that" said Gribble.

The PM's office has so far refused to deny any of the allegations made by Gribble although his secretary Mary Tingwell confirmed that he did still have a blow up doll.

"I'm not to sure what he does with it" she said "but I do know that he stopped having sex with Janette since she started wearing long john's".

Questions about his past have so far been ignored by Mr Howard although he wished all Australians a merry Christmas and hoped that everyone would take care on the roads during the holidays and to be careful when entering public toilets in case Allen Jones was lurking in the shadows.