Xenox News

Aussie treasurer explains
why he must sell soon
The treasurer of Ostrichlia,
Mr. Costlyfellow at last explained
the "logic" and the "urgency" of
the planned TELSTRA sale.
Smirking and winking continuously
he shovelled the bullshit onto the
dullard Aussie public:

"The first reason for the sale is
that it is Nasty Party policy,
meant to help our friends, but I
would like you to believe that
there is some public benefit."

"You see children, we must create
a fund of money, and we all know
THAT is a very good thing."

"Now to make this fund we must
sell TELSTRA, but it would be a
very BAD thing to leave the money
just lying around in a fund,
because anything could happen to
the money!"
"So we plan to invest the money in
a SAFE business - TELSTRA."

His smirk having now distorted his
face into a horrific grimace, he
snickered on with his message:

"Now kiddies, you can see why this
is so very urgent."

He paused, then delivered his
devastating punchline:

"This is urgent for the simple
reason that if we don't sell
TELSTRA soon enough, we will have
to wait to buy TELSTRA, and that
will be too late, because we wish
to sell TELSTRA, and we must sell
TELSTRA sooner so that we can buy
TELSTRA sooner still!"

Just in case of any lingering
doubts he added this:

"We are very sneaky, and we may
buy TELSTRA behind our own backs
while we are not looking."
"You know our style!"

Responding to this psychotic stew
of nonsense, the well-paid loser
and leader of the opposition, Kim
Beetlejuice said:
"I didn't understand a single word
of it, but you can bet that it
will have my full support."