XenoxNews readers thank you so much for voting me new Aussie PM…
Normally I am a shy reserved chap, I don’t go much for public speaking, but I will say a few words about my new appointment...
My first call of PM duty:
People of Australia I can tell you all my policies as PM will be guided by the Horn.
For the Horn. And by the Horn.
Notes from our first Cabinet Meeting
The first question I will always ask of any new law or regulation; what does it do for the Horn? In particular, and I don’t mean to be greedy, what does it do for my Horn?
For if it is good for my Horn I assert it is good for everyone’s horn.
Ladies and Gentlemen of Australia I will give you a Government that will stand to attention each morning; and that will be still upright at the end of the day!
A towering Horn of a Government!
I will allow the people to touch us, to stroke us, to pull us to where you want us to go!
My horniness Government knows no bounds and offers everyone freedom and pleasure. Oh! Very much pleasure for all…
And for my new secretary bending over at the desk I give you this…
Hmmmm.
Whoops.
OK. I’m sorry. I have better go and clean that up.
Yours in a sticky mess at the Lodge,
Hairy Fucknose
Pervy pete
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Hey Hairy don't forget to speed up our internet! It'll help with our late night viewing ;) Luv your work by the way... |
Herr Fucknuckle
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I'll take any questions, requests, or comments about me and my Government here. Let me know what you want to do. I know what I want to do... that is why my secretary is on my lap ;) Yours hardned, horned, and happy PM Hairy Buttbuckle |
Knobless & Dateless
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Hey PM Hurty Brassknuckle how about getting me a sheila to root? I've been trying for ages! |
Ricardovitz
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How 'bout WARE IS ALL OUR GUNS??? WHE IS EVERY LAWFUL WHITE AUSTRALIAN GONNA GIT HIS GUNS BACK? WHEN IS YOU GONNA GIVE AUSTRALIANS THAR FREEDOM, 'N THAR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TA DEFEND THEMSELVES? |
Max Gross
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At last a candidate that stands up for something tangible. Hard luck to the Liaberals, they just can't shake off their sense of privilege. Born-to-rule, right? Any other election result must be some kind of dreadful mistake? Welcome to democracy, dipshits. Maybe they would have a better chance if they did something about their "weak spots": Br'er Abbott, Eric Abetz, Kevin Andrews, Bruce Billson, Julie Bishop, Bronwyn Bishop, George Brandis, Peter Dutton, Joe Hockey, Greg Hunt, Phiip Ruddock, Sophie Mirabella, Barnaby Joyce, Christopher Pyne, Andrew Robb, Warren Truss... Second thought, just change their name to the White Australia National Socialist Party andc be done with it. |
A sailors life
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Herr Frutiingle I am a likely lad who hits the shore in your god forsaken country often... So now your PM can you arrange that next time I'm in old Sydney town I can find a boy like this:  Thankee! |
I don't look like that anymore
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Hello Sailor I've changed a bit since the halcyon, green-haired days of my youth. I may have lost a little green, gotten a little hairier, and put on a little weight....but underneath it all, I'm still the same old stud muffin you've cum to know and love. I can't wait to hook up with you for some deeply penetrative interaction. XXX  |
Herr Fucknuckle
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Thank you for all your questions and demands... I have put them on the Prime Ministerial filofax and I will deal with them as soon as I can upload a new japanese performance piece onto my PM computer. Yours stiff & in anticipation, PM Herr Fuckedcarbuncle |
Banking Solution
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Dear Mr Fudgepopsicle, As the representative of Australia's big four banks I would hope you maintain the strong and friendly relationship we have had with the Australian Government. We are happy to assist you in any way possible. For instance, if you wish to clean out the dead wood in Treasury we are happy to have some of our hand picked staff work for you for gratis. What a wonderful saving for the tax payer that would be! On the other hand if you wish to play the 'bash-the-banks' card we will have no hesitation in pulling the Federal Government credit card. Got me? I look forward to your response, Mr Jew-Freemason Secret Head of All Aussie Banks |
FlimFlamMan
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Hey PM Herr Fuckwit you sure have fucked up big time already. How could you allow the maggots to win the flag? You're a disgrace to yourself, Australia, and everything that is good and decent in our golden green cuntry. |
Stupid in Woodville
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Hey Hairy! I voted for ya. I love ya! I got the horn with ya! Stupid, Woodville |
Stupid in Rooty Hill
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Got pissed last election and only have just sobered up now... who is our PM??? |
