Welcome to Australia. The Land Run By Gays.
Julia Gillard and Bob Brown have made a deal where together they will run the country.
Lesbians and Homosexuals Nationwide Celebrate.
The Sydney Gay Mardi Gra is set to become a public holiday.
Public acts of women on women cunnilingus and man on man horsey action will be encouraged as a display of the new independence.
Gays in the public service and police force will be encouraged to display their sexuality with new rules regarding truncheon useage. Police officers will be supplied with lubricants and velvet lined hand cuffs.
Gay couples will receive a rebate if they decide to celebrate their marriage in the nude televised on a new 24 hour gAyBC channel.
"The people of Australia need to get used to the sight of gay men and women kissing and fornicating" said Bob Brown today.
"There is nothing wrong with the act of a man shoving his erect penis up the anus of his partner and madly shoving it in and out until he begins to spasm and then erupt in a wash of dripping semen."
"This bipartisan policy will ensure that Australians will advance into the future as modern thinkers, liberated, accepting and loving."
Julia Gillard endorses the concept of public cunnilingus exhibitions with close up CCTV footage web cast on the new NBN. She also expressed interest in truncheon love with members of the police force.
"The parliament is about to enter a new era. As you know I am an advanced and liberated thinker and I certainly agree that gay members of parliament should have the right to display and/or fondle each others genitals during question time. In a modern democracy I see nothing wrong with members placing their mouths on the members of other members."
"Mister Abbott claims that we are going to far but he cannot deny that as we debated this issue the TV cameras detected a definite bulging in his trousers, particularly when the policy for public man on man fellatio was being discussed."
Tony Abbott has yet to respond to our questions but a Liberal party source has suggested that Mr Abbott may consider making a deal with the Greens regarding national mardi gra day as long as men wear their speedos during the march.
What about the children?
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This is just like Ancient Rome... Next the barbarians will sweep over us and do all sorts of nasty things! |
Lacking a penis and the will to use it
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It seems inevitable that we will become a unisex society. In fact once we can make our replace-a-bodies out of stem cells there will be no need for sex and women. And won't that just be Jim Dandy ;) |
Cesspool Backstroke
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Talk about gay, how about god-fearing Action Man Abbott and his padded speedos? Now that's sure to be a theme at this years Mardi Gras! |
Liberal MP Peter Slipper
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"Zzzzzzz.......mmmm.....Tony would look rather tasty in a g-string......zzzzzzz"   |
ALP=Lazy Latte Sippers
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At least he don't eat his own ear wax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ipvdBnU8F8 |
Kevin Rudd
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"I was clearly on the outer edge of the ear. There was no ear-pick. I did not pick. There was no pick. No. No pick."  |
Kevin Rudd
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"It was a scratch. Was there any auricle penetration? There may have been some incidental penetration." |
Kevin Rudd
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"On this particular occasion however, there was a detailed programmatic specificity of nostril penetration. I was in up to my wrist."  |
A sailors life
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Can't we get back to the buggary instead of all this finger nasal/aural penetration? |
Bobby
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Bob Brown is now the defacto deputy PM of Australia as par tof the ALP/Greens coalition... |
Shifty Sean
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Gillard needs now to announce the new Minister for Defence and Treasurer of Australia. Who will it be now that Kevin's best two men jumped ship after Rudd got knifed by ex-union opportunists Shorten and Arbib? Is there anyone with legitimate talent left in the ALP that is capable of being treasurer of the country or will one of the sleasy ex-union hacks take control of the treasury? Keep paying your taxes people. The country will need every cent it can get when the spending free-for-all starts. |
Digger
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What a disgrace the two hacks Windsor and Oakenshott are. They have ignored the will of the majority of dinky-di aussies and have backed a loony left Green-ALP coalition of the corrupt. One can only hope that this tottering edifice of slimy back door deals and green pork barrels falls over soon; before they can do anymore lasting damage to our great Nation. Digger, Cranbourne |
Citizen Kwai Chang Caine
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Gillard in her speech today unashamedly repeated over and over again how the new government will be transparent, open and honest!! No choice hey Julia? Well voted people. Congrats. |
Ricardovitz
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Y'all er gonna burn in hell fer not electin a God Fear'n man. One that is gonna git yer freedom back, git yer guns back, git ta work, 'n not horse 'round with queer-folk, animals 'n whatnot. |
Citizen Kwai Chang Caine
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Sorry Ricardo. There are enough dumbass red necks in power. Your lot have turned the world into a corporate show bag and old time values of politeness and care are lost over nationalism and greed. "Mine, mine, mine" Herr Fucknuckle is a much more interesting prospect than the likes of your lousy arse. |
Flip flop
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After criticism of the complete lack of focus on education in the naming of the new Labor Ministry yesterday Julia Gillard today announced that she was changing her name by deed poll. She will be now known as: Julia Education Gillard For many of us we will still refer to her by her previous name: Julia Backflip Dullard |
Flip flop
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In other breaking news the Gillard government forgot to include "Research" in any ministry portfolio. The new minister for climate change Gereg Combett has suggested that going back in to the dark ages would keep carbon emissions down. |
Duck me frunk
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What is it with shrivelled up nostrils and these two? Why do nostrils atrophy so inelegantly? |
