A whole heap of college runts converge o­n Melbourne

from 50 gooberment colleges across 12 countries to do some verbal feuding spouting off 'bout this and that bit of brainwashed politics.  Ain't gonna be no new idears thar folks, jest a bunch of young drones regurtigatin the drug-induced rage of senile hippies. 

This is the first time that the event has been held in Melbourne in eight years.  The Gooberment is a little scared that topics about guns, freedom, Dixie, and the 2010 elections might queer up the Australian Gooberment agenda.

This old hippy, Victor Finkel seems to think thar's gonna be some real debatin goin o­n hear, but Ricardovitz begs to differ.  "University level debating is seen as the highest level gooberment propaganda in the world and students will have spent months being brainwashed by drug-pushing hippy professors to further that agenda in something we like to call a "debate".  

Do you reckon thar's gonna be any debate o­n topics like:
1.  Guns and how yer elected officials done castrated Australians by taking them all.
2.  Kevin Rudd
3.  Senile Hippies
4.  Drug-guzzling University Administrators
5.  Squatters and dead-beat tenants
6.  Slavery
7.  God v. Devil?

They ain't gonna touch no hot topics like those.  Too firey fer them Senile Hippy moderators to control.  Give 'em heart burn and shit up they drawers if this kind of important stuff got argued about fer real.

They's gonna control everything over at Monash University's Caulfield Campus. The semi-finals will be held in the upper and lower houses of the Communist-ridden Victorian Parliament and the grand-final will be held at the new Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre.

The format for the competition is the traditional Hippy-controlled style of two teams of three speakers, and o­ne sombitch lesbian with a vice grip o­n every man's testicals. Teams receive their topics just half an hour prior to the debate, but after the lesbian makes sure that vicegrip is good and tight o­n everyone's gonads.

The patron of the championships is the Governor-General Ms Quentyn Bryce AC.  Maybe she'll be the vice-grip designee this year too.
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University Straight-Up Correspondent:  Ricardovitz