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Comments (28)
Unregistered
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Well what has satirical journalism come to? This is a sad day for Xenox News. Where are the keen insights typically displayed in the fine stories usually published here? LordyLordyLordy indeed. |
Unregistered
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Eze 27:31 And they shall make themselves utterly bald for thee, and gird them with sackcloth, and they shall weep for thee with bitterness of heart [and] bitter wailing. |
Unregistered
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Yair mate, and they can stick a bit of good old Ezekiel up the back passage and see if they can "catch some fire" with it. What a pack of miserable wankers! Hope they go to God before they can vote for The Turd. *CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA* |
Unregistered
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Deu 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel. |
FlimFlamMan
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Matthew 3:16 And lo Jesus walked out of the Garden of Gethsemane and fucked himself stupid for 20 years. |
Chato
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Flim, I must correct your erroneous assertion, it was NOT the GRAden, it was the GARden. And THEN he fucked himself stupid - and why not? As long as he paid Caesar the GST... |
*CAPTAIN_AUSTRALIA*
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What's the GST to pay on an orgy? A bucket of semen to Honest John? How would you measure it? What about pathogens? Spoilage? Adulteration? What cunt said GST simplified things? *CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA* |
Unregistered
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Luk 18:20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother. |
Cambridge philosopher
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its a biggun. Lazy minded religion worshipper bring your mind to my stone. It has intricacies beyond your fairy tale friends. That book you quote mindlessly; where is it from? It is from man. And so must be tainted with the original sin. The original sin. Was when I put my pecker into a woman. What a crazy God you have - he will not allow you to fuck. Where as I am endowed with reason, I can tell you that it is jolly good to root. Just don't let the bitch hang around to long after you come. My stone has truth. Feel its ruffles and fissures. My stone is mighty big. You might as well worship it instead of your fool on the cross. |
Unregistered
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Gen 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. |
Unregistered
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Gen 16:2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. |
Farewell
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Sure he didn't say foul of the air, or fouling of the air. Unfortunately the predominately christian countries have created technology and supported governments who are 'fucking the land over'. There is the good of your book. |
Unregistered
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The locusts greedily breed, and the locusts greedily feed. Then the stupid bastards starve to death! I kinda like the sound of that as it applies to human retards. What's the GST to be paid on mass die-off? You still can't beat a good old mass-impaling though. - Vlad |
Unregistered
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Lev 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with [another] man's wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. |
Unregistered
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Mar 1:6 And John was clothed with camel's hair, and with a girdle of a skin about his loins; and he did eat locusts and wild honey; |
travolsta
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Hey guys, there's another English person about, :) I'm a new on www.xenoxnews.com looking forward to speaking to you guys soon |
Apelsincik
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Hey www.xenoxnews.com 1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) 2. Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Wal-Mart has a bigger selection) 4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this) 5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money) 6. Thou shall not get into fights. (Cat fight anyhow...just start them.) 7. Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off) 8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class. (Hooters pays more) 9. Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "just do it") 10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave 'em in the middle) |
StudentVip
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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo." |
mrRevolver
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A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row. "I saw an air show. And it was very fascinating." "Good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" She then calls on a girl sitting off to the left. "I saw some monkeys. They were very fascinating." "Good, but I wanted you to use the world 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" Billy's hand shoots up into the air and she calls on him. "Teacher, teacher! I got one!" "Go ahead, Billy." "My sister's shirt has ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate." |
Mrasanro
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Wife comes home and say's to hubby " Doctor said i have tit's and ass like an 18yr old ". Hubby said " What did he say about your 50yr old cunt "? Wife replies " He didn't mention you " |
LogicPoet
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A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala !What are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they burn a few. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says " Hey you!" So the koala looks down at him and says:"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude. how much water did you drink?!!" |
Nicusrakus
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Husband and wife in bed together. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She: "Oh, that feels good." His hand moves to her breast. She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful." His hand moves to her leg. She: "Oh, honey, don't stop." But he stops. She: "Why did you stop?" He: "I found the remote. |
MusicHorse
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Horny wife A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a Lingerie shop. One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm. "Want some of this?" she purred. "Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your underwear!" |
stranisa
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An Innocent Enough Inquiry A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" "Hmmm, " he replies. "It must be your feet, then." |
jezonimo
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my funny story A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bd. Was she pretty?" "Dunno... never found the head!" |
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