Yes it's nearly Easter time. The time when the Christian world celebrates the overcoming of death by their lord and saviour Jesus H Christ. But people in Haiti and other Voudoun cultures do this all the time. This period of the saviour's life certainly fits the definition of a Zombie. He died, was entombed and rose from the dead. However there is no record of him having cravings for fresh human brains or is there....???
What about eating his body and his blood during communion? Cannibalism doesn't appear to be a sin either. Or maybe it was metaphorical as christianity has tried to devour everybody's brain since the First Council of Nicea in 325 AD. This council was basically a gathering of publishers and editors deciding what would and wouldn't be in the in the Bible. Who know's what they cut out. There are some tantalising clues. Jesus had a go at making Zombies himself. Remember Lazarus?
In recognition of Jesus the Holy Zombie we should all make chocolate zombie cake this year.
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Comments (15)
FlimFlamMan
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Don't forget that great christian Hymn... "Eat my body, drink my - Come all ye faithful..." |
Howard Hater
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There be them as says that on dark Easter nights, when the moon be very low, that be seen this horrible apparition springing over the graves of the dead. It be a terrible man-rabbit creature they say, and it lays poison "prosperity" eggs for the trusting Rudd people to pick up. It be the Easter Howard. Striking terror everywhere it goes. |
Ricardovitz
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You will be begging for Christ's forgiveness. And, you will remember RICARDOVITZ. You will remember your heathen ways and your blasphamy of the Lord. HE will remember your wickedness, and will look into your heart upon your death. Yep. Your gonna remember me wicked boys and girls. Like a hot cross seared onto your forehead, you will remember what I've said to you. |
The Watcher
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All hail the holy teapot in the sky! May it brew for eternity. Amen (and ahhh-women!) And, did Jesus REALLY give his loony disciples easter eggs? |
Gentle tenant
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That is not any language that I know pig-boy. Maybe it is pig-people talk, but decent folk know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE. Soon you will mix-up THEIR, THERE and THEY'RE. Isn't that right, pig-boy? Try SITE and SIGHT next. Clean up your act pig-boy. Your Jesus-on-a-stick demon will not help you. |
Father Ted
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But we will be come judgement day and the good and the great are raised from the dead to live in God's green heaven. Actually after a bottle of Tullymore sometimes I feel like a zombie... Dougal! Dougal! Get me another glass... |
The Watcher
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WHAT IS SUPERSTITION? To believe in spite of evidence or without evidence. To account for one mystery by another. To believe that the world is governed by chance or caprice. To disregard the true relation between cause and effect. To put thought, intention and design back of nature. To believe that mind created and controls matter. To believe in force apart from substance, or in substance apart from force. To believe in miracles, spells and charms, in dreams and prophecies. To believe in the supernatural. The foundation of superstition is ignorance, the superstructure is faith and the dome is a vain hope. Superstition is the child of ignorance and the mother of misery. |
Cynical observer
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Hey Watcher! You sure your text is not part of "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha? It might be worth fitting to the music for a good laugh. |
Howard Hater
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All the clues were there - non-core John is the Jesus/Messiah demon returned from the dead (remember John's Lazarus comments). All that is required to save (once again) the subhuman locust hordes is to nail (yet again) the new John/Jesus/Messiah to some sticks. You may need to nail up some of his thieving buddies as well. |
Loony Les
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Drill a hole in your skull. Actually make it a rectangular shape, say the size of a female USB port. Then plug a USB connector in it and the other end into a Mac. You will get a response from the computer. I know cause I have tried it. |
Cynical observer
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Loony Les, try to contact the Liberal Party website for some more useful tips. Although the steam-powered Mac might let you down. |
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