Xenox News

Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.



That's cuz you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you.  If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our o­nboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.

For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates.  The weapons rental costs are as follows.

Rent a full auto M-16 for o­nly $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:



On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for o­nly $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:



Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle; o­nly $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at o­nly $29.95.



Need a spotter? Crew members can double as spotters for o­nly $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)



Want to make a real impact?  Rent an RPG for o­nly $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!  Ain't nothin better'n wackin a Somali Pirate with an RPg - like heaven o­n earth.



Also included:  Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available o­n the main deck from 7pm until 6am.

But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at o­nly $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire! Good googly goo, gonna git me a jigaboo or too.



We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.

Operating at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. You git three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast.  At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.



Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Dr. David Duke, Louisana

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Uri Ben Shavinski, Miami, Florida

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Gunner Dan, Tate City Georgia.
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Pirate Hunter Correspondent:  Ricardovitz