AUSSIE FLAG UNDER THREAT!

Monday, 02 January 2006 By TOM TITMOUSE
That mangy rag we call the flag of Australia has been denied the right to fly over Bondi beach!

That's right, all them foreigners won't be able to bask in it's dismal glow. That slimy piece of cloth which the dimunative people of Australia claim as their own (even though 1/2 of it was filched from other nations) cannot sully the beach at Bondi.

Well big fucking deal! I'm old enough to remember an Australia which didn't give a shit about it's flag or it's silly anthem. What the fuck has changed? All you hear now is Aussie this and Aussie that. How we beat everyone in sport even though our government spends more than East Germany ever did on it's sportsman. I'm fucking sick of it.

It used to be that the best reason to be Australian was because we didn't go round boastin' about ourselves. Not any more.

Well guess what? Our mediocre country is just that; mediocre.

Not bad. Not good. Just the same as every other bloody country. Nothing special about us. No special "Aussie" spirit.

Now that cunt Packer is dead - whose Ch9 has thrived on the limp dicked patriotism of modern day Australia - maybe it'll change and we will realise that we are just another puny country on planet earth.

Maybe.

Now all I wanna do is grab that rag-flag and wipe my arse with it and then run it up the flagpole for Australia day.

May your day be filled with piss,

Tom Titmouse

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