LABOUR SHORTAGE CRISIS

Monday, 23 May 2005 By Chato

Oz treasurer outlines stern new
efficient punishments to come in a
time of full employment when so
many are mostly unemployed...
"The term MARKET FORCES needs to
be re-defined in the same manner
that the term FULL EMPLOYMENT has
been mutilated."

smirked the weird, sociopathic
Ostrichlian treasurer,
Mr. Costlyblow as he made an appeal
to the admiring masses of deeply
retarded Aussie morons.

Sneering in the style of the
criminally insane, he continued:

"In these times of full employment
we must FORCE the full benefits of
a free and democratic regime onto
the enormous number of bludgers
hiding among us decent folk!"
"The MARKET insists on no less!"

His mind squirming with fantasies
of retribution, the NEWTHINK
ideologue explained the new way of
thinking:

"Some may think that MARKET FORCES
means that a shortage of labour
could be fixed by paying the
workers more, and offering them
better workplace conditions."

"WRONG!" he bellowed.

"In this NEW FREE WORLD ORDER
They must be paid LESS, and they
must be FORCED to understand that
MARKET FORCES means they owe their
labour at whatever our MARKET
friends are prepared to offer."
"FREEDOM means: your labour is
FREE to the employer."

"How dare these bludging work-shy
terrorists bargain with their
labour in a time of full
employment when so many employers
need workers at low pay rates and
poor workplace conditions, and so
many are tragically unemployed!"
"How dare they use the sacred
MARKETPLACE for bargaining!"

After a moment of self-admiration,
the economic fruitcake summed up
with a timely warning:

"Those who think they can hide
among the employed by merely
being employed, hear this:
we are coming after you very, very
soon, you sneaky, work-shy
bludgers!"
"Remember this, FORCED WORK WILL
SET YOU FREE, in this free and
democratic country!"

"It is not about punishment, it is
about efficient use of labour."

Upon hearing this serious lunacy,
Kim Beebuzzly, well-paid loser and
supposed leader of the federal
opposition responded:

"As one who has a heart-felt
ambition to one day become a
defender of the rights of the
workers, (and I really mean that)
I must say that in all my years as
an ineffectual representative of
those rights, I have never been so
prepared to say these typical and
boring words of the usual Labor
Party betrayal:

The treasurer and the Prime
Misery can rely on my full and
hearty support in their efforts to
impose fair and equitable MARKET
FORCES on the bludging work-shy
fully employed Aussie workforce."