DILI PRESS CONFERENCE: BRIGADIER j FUCKWIT: DIGGERS IN TIMOR

Created: Saturday, 27 May 2006 Written by XenoxNews War Report

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Q: How are the brave Aussie soldiers going in Dili?

A: Well we have flown in a plane load of whores from Bali to service their needs; our PM says we are in for the long haul.

Q: Are the Diggers weapons loaded?

A: Man they are all loaded (laughs). Get this; we’ve given them a slab of VB each to coax those fuzzy wuzzys down from the mountains.

Q: Australia, I mean, we have a long history of helping those in need in our backyard, how are we doing it this time?
A: Oh we will pay those whores reasonable prices…Dili needs some hard foreign currency...we will bring it.

Q; Guns are going off; armed thug gangs menace the neighborhoods, what are the rules of engagement?
A: Don’t ask and we won’t tell. I’m sick of you lot picking on our brave diggers….

Q: Our brave boys, will we get some pictures?
A: Well here are some, lying in the grass poking their guns out, strutting down the mean streets, giving the kids lollies. Here’s another one with a 15 year old getting a gob full of cum…hang on better scrap that last one…

Q: My News Ltd editor is up my arse trying to link this shit to Al Qaeda, is there any proof?
A: Don't worry DFAT is on the case. There will be, just read Fatboy Piers or Bolt on Monday.

Q: Will you deliver our stiffs to the right place?
A: Hey that's out of line Mr XenoxNews. Don't you know no Aussies die in 70 year old PM Howards wars?