Reading scripture to a donkey

Created: Thursday, 23 July 2009 Written by Max Gross

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The Editorial Board of Xenox News nervously rattles a stick under the cage of its raving reporter, Max Gross, and unleashes another spray!

Max banner June09
Un-fecking-believable!

Between 1939 and 1945 the brave, “democratic” Western alliance fought and defeated Adolf bloody Hitler, his psycho-Nazi racists and Axis allies, losing and reclaiming Europe and the South Pacific in just five, all be it, horrific years of war.

Yet, this week Australians roused themselves from their chilly winter-and mulled-wine slumber to the deranged rambling of the nation’s Defence Force Air Chief Marshal Angus Houston who predicted that it would be another five years before our Diggers could declare “mission accomplished” and come home from Uncle Obama’s war-of-choice in Afghanistan.

Eight years in Afghanistan! Six years in Iraq (Not counting the preceding decades of lethal sanctions, bombings and black-ops, of course).

There are about 90,000 reluctant foreign troops in Afghanistan, including about 1,500 Diggers (That said, don’t forget that Australia’s infamous S.A.S. does a lot of the dirty work over there and that true troop numbers are no doubt tweaked).

And as Aussies bury their 11th soldier to bite the Afghan dust, Airhead Chief Houston fudged the facts regarding 13 “incidents” involving Australian troops and o­ngoing civilian casualties.

With a perfectly straight face, Houston announced that in all cases in which civilian casualties had been confirmed, internal Defence inquiries had found that Australian troops had operated within their “rules of engagement.”

Waiting for my man!

Such a relief! Crack another tinny, mate! Our diggers are, after all, “the good guys”, right?

What the Airhead Chief didn’t mention was how much bribe money was paid to grieving Afghans to hopefully keep their kin from taking up arms against our noble, freedom-loving Aussie diggers who are, after all, o­nly in Afghanistan to… to what?

There are three new inquiries currently being conducted, including into the deaths of five Afghan children and an adult in an “incident” o­n February 12.

Apparently under the influence of drugs – possibly some rancid magic mushroom derivative – the Airhead Chief reaffirmed that Aussies were fighting the good fight in that ancient, battle-scarred land and further claimed that a “premature withdrawal” of foreign troops would lead to a civil war the Taliban would probably win.

Probably, Angus?

Every time a Digger kicks in a door, Afghans don’t see a helping hand, they see a foreign boot.

As long as we keep killing Afghan kids, mums, dads and goats, our lads will remain legitimate targets for any angry Afghan with a pea shooter, rock or IDF device.

How to create a terrorist, U.S. method

Four more U.S. soldiers were killed a couple of days ago, making July the deadliest month for American cannon fodder in Afghanistan since the 2001 invasion.

About 750 American troops have died in the Afghan dust, out of a total of around 1263 foreign corpses.

In Iraq – remember Iraq? - 4327 U.S. soldiers have been killed [http://www.icasualties.org/], but you don’t hear much about those deaths these days. As for troops injured, don’t ask!

And the Afghans can and will keep this up for generations.

I laughed until I cried when I heard the U.S. military self-righteously denounce the release of a video showing o­ne of its cannon fodder captured in Afghanistan, saying the Taliban had violated international law.

Jee-zuz, people! The U.S. has no right to criticise anyone anywhere regarding “international law” because what few shreds of moral authority it may have o­nce had were used to wipe the arses of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condaleeza Rice and the rest of that band of evil god-botherers.

Quick! A stake through the heart!

So again I ask: why are we there?

Surely not to protect the incompetent, U.S. installed Mayor of Kabul and the corrupt Afghan movers and shakers opportunistically riding high o­n the backs of goatherds, poppy growers and current U.S. foreign policy objectives?

Movers and shakers like warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum, for example, a U.S. ally responsible for the murder of several thousand Taliban prisoners.

Why is Australia still waltzing with Washington in the phoney “war o­n terror”?

The Taliban, remember, did NOT have anything to do with the 2001 “incident” involving hijacked passenger planes and a certain architectural eyesore in New York.

Scary 9/11 artifact [2003]

At the time, as hosts to Osama Bin Laden, the Taliban actually expressed their willingness to cooperate with U.S. demands for his “handover” if o­nly the U.S. would provide evidence of his “involvement” in the 9/11 atrocities.

And just a reminder, children, that to this very day, despite America’s assault o­n Afghanistan and its utter destruction of Iraq, the FBI’s Most Wanted list still does not feature Mr Bin Laden as a priority.

And certainly no Afghans were o­n those fatal planes, o­nly Egyptian and Saudi nationals, although there are plenty of witless morons out there who still think the Taliban, Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein are all connected.

And they ARE!

They are all the creations of U.S. foreign policy. Ha ha ha!

So you think you can dance?

But yep, there are now probably a more than a few Afghan “terrorists” in the works as a result of the mass murderous policies of Mad Uncle George (gone but not forgotten), Nutless Tony (Gone and completely forgotten) and Jingo Johnny (Gone and still faking it).

Remember folks, the Taliban originally received funds and C.I.A. backing from the U.S., falling from favour not because they were nasty to their womenfolk but for demanding too much money from planned U.S. oil pipeline construction.

The U.S. then shifted its support to the so-called Northern Alliance and opium production suddenly soared.

Now, children, pardon my pointer and pay attention to the Before and After graph o­n the whiteboard:

Under Taliban governance (i.e. U.S. friends yesterday), poppy crops in Afghanistan produced around 5% of the world’s heroin.

Under Northern Alliance control (i.e. U.S. friends today), poppy crops in Afghanistan produce around 90% of the world’s heroin.

Follow the white rabbit o­n that o­ne!

1, 2, 3, what are we fighting for...

Now permit me to paraphrase my mate Angry Aaron’s canny assessment of the entire twisted neo-con catastrofuck:

“Toppling the Taliban and Al Qaeda were never part of the "plan". Until 2001, the Taliban were allies with the USA and it was due to oppression of the people and a booming opium trade, not in spite of them.“There were three main reasons to invade Afghanistan.

“Firstly, the Caspian Sea has oil reserves that western companies wanted to exploit (though it later turned out that these reserves were far smaller and more difficult to extract than had previously been believed).

“Secondly, as negotiations for an oil pipeline through Afghanistan broke down, the Taliban tried to play hardball by destroying the year's opium harvest. From their links to the CIA, the Taliban knew how much damage that would do to the US economy.

“Thirdly, between Afghanistan and Iraq, the US had a longer-term goal of isolating Iran geopolitically.”

Game, set and match, mate! The vodka spritzer’s o­n me, Aaron!

Meanwhile, with hardly a murmur and - certainly no solemn, statesmanlike announcement o­n a global stage somewhere in central Cairo or Tel Aviv - the rate of deadly U.S. drone attacks has steadily increased, starting during the dying daze of ex-president George W. Bogus and now blossoming under President Barack O’bummer.

These remote, unilateral U.S. missile strikes in Afghanistan and Pakistan are killing more civilians than “militants” and are no doubt a great recruiting tool for mad mullahs all over the world, from Chechnya to Indonesia.

And Obama is ignoring Pakistan’s public protestations and demands to cease and desist no less than did Dubya (Say that six times fast!).

Afghan flunkies

As far as Pakistan is concerned, the Hindu Kush and India are the priorities and the “problem” of Taliban militants can and will be negotiated. Eventually, the Taliban will become what they were in the past: allies of Pakistan.

The Yanks never were much good at geopolitics. They prefer to just blow things up.

Now, Obama could pull the plug o­n this sickening meat grinder but shows no inclination to do so.

And make no mistake, peeps, although mad Uncle George started this bloodbath, its Obama’s slaughterhouse now and he’s escalated the slaughter and increased troop numbers.

Change? Sure, change the logo but not the product.

The aims of Amerikkka’s military-industrial oligarchs and U.S. hunger for Middle Eastern fossil fuels remain a fundamental driver of Washingtoon’s foreign policy.

And the U.S. still hasn’t confronted the humungous financial costs: a $US1 trillion, with plenty more to come: say, $US2 trillion more for war debt, restocking military hardware and the provision of care and treatment for mangled U.S. troops.

You can bet the expense of these reckless wars of choice helped bring about the U.S.A.’s current economic implosion (Even the world’s Last Remaining Superpower can't just blow $3 trillion out of its arse and not expect the lights to flicker in the kitchen).

And while Amerikkka’s Afghan drone war has revved up, with around 48 reported strikes since August 2008, the threat posed by Al-Qaeda and other pissed-off folk continues unabated.

Abdul Rashid Dostum, Afghan entrepeneur

According to Peter Singer, author of "Wired for War”, the Yanks are recreating the very problem Israel’s murderous “moral” army faces in the ghettos of devastated Gaza.

"They've gotten very good at killing Hamas leaders,” Singer says of the IDF, but “they have in no way, shape or form succeeded in preventing a 12-year-old in joining Hamas."

Terrorism begets terrorism (I found that one on a Minties wrapper).

And did anyone else experience deju vu all over again this week listening to our church-going, Mandarin-speaking, pro-corporate Oz PM Elmer Rudd’s reaction to the lethal Marriott Hotel bombings in Jakarta the other day?

Reading from ousted PM Jingo John Howard’s old script, Rudd said, "It's important for us all to remember here in Australia that Afghanistan has been a training ground for terrorists worldwide, a training ground also for terrorists in South-East Asia."

As it is in the U.S.A, so shall it be Down Under, amen:

Logo? Changed! Product? Same old shite!

As Daniel Flitton pointed out in Melbourne’s mainstream broadsheet, The Age newspaper, the rhetoric of Afghanistan as a "hotbed of international terrorism" is way stale.

“Operational ties between al-Qaeda in Afghanistan and terrorists in Indonesia were broken long ago,” wrote Flitton. “No evidence has been presented in recent years to show continuing and direct connections between violent Islamists in our region and groups in Afghanistan.”

Nonetheless, over the next 20 years, Elmer Rudd’s government plans to spend $300 billion o­n the Australian military, instead of oh, say, developing sustainable responses to climate change which, unlike “terrorism”, actually IS a current global threat.

Xenox News goes where angels fear to flap

Jesus H. Potato Crisps! looks like we’re in for the long haul alright: the long haul over hot coals, corpses, maimed bystanders, firestorms and drought without end.

As for our Airhead Chief Houston, all I can say is, as with all previous foreign incursions into Afghanistan, the current U.S.-led misadventure will fail.

The "West" will lose this war.

The "West" will come to terms with the Taliban…

or whatever new creature arises from the ashes of Afghanistan.

This was Max Gross for Xenox News, mulling his wine, biding his time and basking in the winter sunshine. Cheers!
NO GOD, NO MASTER!