What type of English Royal Family Do we Want?

Questions have been raised about the Germans in Buckingham Palace...

Maybe it is time for a rebrand. Let's get them some new PR hacks, and get ourselves a brand fucking new Royal Family.

First, bring back the beards...

They give a real Gravitas.

Now Queen Liz. She should get out and about a bit more. Opening doors and closing shows.

Make her a lipstick leso, the licks of which we have never seen before!

Show me Liz! Show me!

We could get some of the younger layabout Royals on a tour of the Colonies. It worked in the 50s, surely it will again. They can bring their special Hanoverian light to the darkness.

Maybe Prince Harry's missus could go and visit her relatives?

Members of the English Press being briefed by the Palace

And how about giving little Prince Georgie a makeover... Perhaps he could become a little Princess Georgina? What a wonderful woke message that would send out!

Artist rendition of Princess Georgina when she ascends the throne.

And if that doesn't work then get rid of the whole fucking lot of them.

Offend-o-Meter: 5 / 5