Can't We Just Magick Away the CO2?

The climate crisis. It can be seen everyday, all around us, and everywhere. Floods, fire, and pestilence. Biblical in it's intensity. Apocalyptic in its intent.

Hey, that gives me an idea.

Well they do say desperate times call for desperate fiends...

Coffin Joe! Send a vortex of woe to suck away the CO2

Even my rudimentary understanding of Quantum Mechanics makes me think that this may be possible. That through the sheer force of your will, with the right mindset, you can change matter and energy. All you need to do is re-arrange the electron clouds of your mind. Or maybe you can do it by using some old timey spells and potions, perhaps even with some hard core incantations and invocations. And if we are going to be serious about this why not use the best when it comes to conjuring and disappearing matter? Look no further than the Old Beast himself, Mr Crowley.

To get rid of the CO2 every option should be on the table.

I know, I know... We'd be dabbling in the occult. It could stir up some trouble makers from the other side. But dear reader, we are facing Armageddon! The end times I tell you.

If Aleister's delightful little whore could Magick up all sorts of things into the vacuum of her vagina, then why not use his techniques to get every second lass to take up a bit of Greenhouse Gas? Have every bum-chum doing a reverse fart? Imagine, if we did all that the ppm would surely fall by a few counts!

 People! Draw the blue circle of fire! Pentagram a sucker on your bedroom floor. When you cum scream out for the whore of Babylon! Every little bit you do will help.

He sold his soul, why can't you? Every one traded to the Prince of Darkness will remove a lifetime of CO2 emissions

You know these CO2 emissions didn't come from nowhere. The liquefied remains of trillions of living things, their dead souls burned up in a puff of smoke. All for our pleasure. For our economic growth. Of course there was gunna be some bad karma for doing this. Selling our souls to Satan to pay back for it seems the least we could do...

Do what thou wilt I say! Do it for the Environment!