He Feels Good
Friday, 23 May 2003
By wohbegone
Aging 'Godfather of soul' James Brown has been pardoned by the US state of South Carolina’s Department of Probation, Parole and Pardon Services, for his past crimes in that state.
Brown served a two-and-a-half-year prison term after a 1988 arrest on drug and assault charges. He was also convicted of a drug-related offence.
After the department's decision, Brown gave a funky get-down version of "God Bless America".
"God bless America on this beautiful day", the legendary 70-year-old reprobate said. "I hope my pardon shows the youth that America is a beautiful country," "I feel good!" He knows that he should now.
Brown, famous for funk and soul (s)hits, like "I Feel Good," "Sex Machine" and "Living in America," failed to get a pardon for his crimes in 2001. He now has complete amnesty from all legal consequences of his past crimes. Ah, to be a musical legend!
And just what exactly were those crimes? High on PCP and armed with a shotgun, in September 1998 Brown stormed an insurance seminar next to his Augusta, Georgia, office and accused seminar participants of using his private lavatory. He did not sing “God Bless America”.
Insurance seminar! Hell, you should have used anthrax, James!
Police eventually pursued Brown into South Carolina and then back again to Georgia. The farce ended when police shot out the tyres of his truck.
Convicted of assault, failure to stop for a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, carrying a pistol and drug possession, Brown was slapped with a six-year prison for failing to stop for a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, carrying a pistol and drug possession.
He spent 15 months in prison and 10 months in a work-release program before being paroled in February 1991. He did not sing “God Bless America”.
In 1998, police found whacky tobaccy and firearms at Brown's home when deputies took him into custody on a probate judge's order as a "mental transport". A Mental WHAT? James Brown did not sing “God Bless America”.
Brown spent a week in an exclusive private hospital recovering from a “dependency on painkillers” that the singer purportedly took after hurting his back during a show. Uh-huh, doing what, exactly? The splits?
He was convicted of "using a weapon while under the influence", but completed a 90-day drug program. He did not sing “God Bless America”.
Soul is dead, Rap and Hip Hop is crap, and I feel good!
