Saturday, 17 April 2004 By Stats Boy
Swinbum Institute of Football Studies
The Swinbum Institute of Football Studies has led the way with innovative enumeration of fundamental football activities that have enabled a new way to understand and discuss the great game of football. Hard ball gets, clangers, contested/non-contested marks, number of abos in forward 50; you name it we have come up with it. And now after many hours of study we have come up with the definitive footy stat. The Number of Positive Penetrating Scoreline Kicks#

Says Eddie McGuire: "I'm the kind of geek that still keeps score in the Footy Record even when I'm not calling the game (don't believe me? Get the 2003 Grand Final DVD). And I'm a big believer in the positive power of statistics to fill in the tedium of football coverage, and as such I have relied on the geniuses of The Swinbum Institute of Football Studies to provide me with the most up to date figures and analyses of all the footy action. But now they have got the crème de la crème; a figure that has a 100% positive correlation with the actual result of the game!"

Thanks Eddie. Your absolutely right, the The Number of Positive Penetrating Scoreline Kicks has been conclusively shown to have an absolute correlation with the outcome of the game*.

So now you can look forward to Friday night footy on Eddies channel in the knowledge that they have now the statistical tool to tell you who is winning.

* Mansfield-Skorzeny Correlation R=0.99999, p<0.0001

#This statistic is defined as the number of kicks that penetrate the goal line for your team with a 6x ratio applied to those kicks that go thru the big sticks.

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