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Xenox News Proudly Supports the Afghan Xmas Tree Fund

Created: Saturday, 15 December 2001 Written by YUGO
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Anti Taliban fighters survey the route to their destination on the last leg of what could possibly be the most dangerous xmas tree delivery since the Boxer Rebellions in Peking circa 1900. At that time trees were smuggled over the Tartar Wall to the American and European legates surrounded by Boxers and the Chinese Imperial Army and for over a century has been cited by the Guiness Book of Records as the most dangerous Xmas Tree Delivery on record . Approximately 4500 trees were delivered under heavy fire and lots of spittle.

Support these new heroes in their record breaking attempt by donating generously to the Afghan Xmas Tree Fund at all major banks. Funds are used to supply and train new members for the Afghan Xmas Special Services Unit. Only 3000 more trees are needed to break the record. Think of all those Muslims unable to celebrate Xmas properly because they have nothing to put their presents under! Last year under the rule of the hated Taliban an attempt was made at the record but the methods used were unable to get the necessary number of trees through. Trees were chopped into small pieces, wrapped in condoms and swallowed or inserted into the rectum and smuggled into Kandahar where they were lovingly reassembled in secret. Many men died of pine needle poisoning in the attempt and many others had sore arses for months afterwards. This year is their big chance. With the Taliban's hold on the region they are now able to strap whole trees to their backs! C'mon give them a go and strike a blow against the Taliban.