Created: Tuesday, 14 June 2005 Written by Tom Titmouse
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Another day in Iraq; another car bomb killing innocent women and children; another assassination of a top government official; another roadside bomb blowing up a humvee.
How can this be stopped?
Well for a start let’s untie our hands from behind our backs!
Each day more and more lunatic Jihadis are crossing the border into Iraq. From Iran, Syria, and Saudi Arabia. These guys are the cannon fodder used by the Iraqi baathists in their quest to de-stabilise the floundering 'democracy' in Iraq. And what are we (yes we, including PM Howard's middle class nirvana of Australia) doing about it?

Hiding our troops in fortified bases, scared shitless to let them out in case they cop more casualties then they are already getting now.

Well fuck that. It’s time to shoot straight and tell it like it is. Surely now that the trio of Bush, Blair and Howard have won their elections they can for once tell the truth and say that they went to Iraq to get the oil and scare the natives. Tell the dimwit masses that at the moment it isn’t exactly going to plan, but, with one more push we can do what we set out to achieve; keep our oil cheap and keep those crazy Arabs under control.

So what’s to do?

Well firstly lets forget this democracy crap; they had their election in Iraq and what did they do? Voted in the fucking Iranians! Christ, we didn’t invade Iraq to have the Mad Mullahs running the country. Let’s pull the plug on these inept losers and put back our man Allawi.

Next lets get serious with those countries around Iraq who are clearly supporting the terrorists. Concentrate on them one at a time, so start with the weakest Syria.

First it’s obvious that the current Iraqi forces have the same backbone as the South Vietnamese Army did in 1975; none. Therefore we need to get more of our troops into Iraq. Now, unfortunately, this might mean that we will have to more actively recruit our own citizens. Luckily it is well known that in the US, UK, and Australia, there are plenty of layabouts who are just sitting on their arses all day playing computer games like GTA San Andreas. So start selling a trip to Iraq as being like a first person shooter game except you can fire a real gun!

Don’t call it the draft; call it “Work for the dole”.

And if this carrot doesn't work then tell these bludgers that if they want to continue to get their welfare money they have to give a little in return. Don’t call it the draft; call it “Work for the dole”.

Next, enforce a no-fly zone over Syria along the Iraq-Syria border. There is no need for any traffic between these two countries so if anyone is spotted within 20 kilometres of the border they should be fair game for the COW airpower. What are the Syrians going to do about this? Nothing. They have no friends so in the end they will have to live with it. If we just did this it would probably stop Iraqi terrorism by 50%. It would also show other countries, and in particular Iran, that we are in Iraq to win. Not to be run out with our tails between our legs which is how it looks now!

In the end we have to be as ruthless as our enemy, and if we can’t then we may as well leave now and kiss our cheap oil goodbye! For too long the Bush, Blair and Howard have pretended that we can get away with a half-arsed war on terror and win. But at the moment the terrorists appear tougher than us and they know it. If we want to win we need Total Krieg, sorry, Total War.

I don’t want to be a loser and pay $2/litre of petrol; do you?

Tom Titmouse