Created: Friday, 17 October 2003
Written by Submit_News
This resume appears to be posted all over the internet
I thought I would post it here so it could get some Xenox News treatment from the wild and wacked writers that post here.
Resume of GEORGE W. BUSH
DOB – July 6, 1946
Drivers License - Yes
The White House
Degree from Yale University 1964-68
Major in History.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor of Texas.
HIGHLIGHTS OF ACHEIVEMENTS
WHILST GOVERNOR OF TEXAS, USA.
I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.
HIGHLIGHTS OF CURRENT ACHEIVEMENTS
I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history.
I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first president in U.S. history to have almost all 50 states of the Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crisis.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in history.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history.
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation) presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
I attacked and overtook two countries.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
My record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns.
I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
After taking-off the entire month of August 2001, I then presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I am supporting development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
I am getting our troops killed, under the lie of Sadam's procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD components, then blaming the lie on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.
I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution than any president in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use national reserves as past presidents have done.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
I am the first president in U.S. history to order a pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints irrelevant.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most resented country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in World history.
I am actively working on a policy of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am the first U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbour, North Korea.
I set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.
I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive.
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no leads and no credible suspects.
In the past 18 months following the World Trade Center attack I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War.
I entered my office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have turned every single economic category downward -- all in less than two years.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.
I was AWOL from the National Guard.
I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
I am great buddies with John Howard. (Surely the surest sign that there is a BG problem. A US president trying to buddy up to an Australian Prime Minister! Sheesh)
Best known for: Governor of Texas who emerged as the Republican front-runner in the 2000 presidential campaign. In his first four months of fund-raising, he collected record-setting contributions of $37 million. His early platform included “compassionate conservatism,” the definition of which was intentionally vague.
Born: July 6, 1946 in New Haven, Connecticut, while his father, former U.S. President George H.W. Bush, was a student at Yale.
Family: Parents: George and Barbara Bush.
Brothers: Neil, Jeb, Marvin. Sisters: Dorothy, Robin, (Robin died of leukemia at age three). Bush's father graduated from Yale in June 1948. His parents then moved the family to Odessa, Texas, and his father began work in the oil business. During the summer of 1977, Bush met Laura Welch in Midland at a dinner at the home of their mutual friends Joe and Jan O’Neill. They married just over three months later, on November 5, 1977. It was small service attended by their close friends and family. In 1981 their twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, were born. They are named after their grandmothers. Their grandfather was the Vice-President of the United States at the time. The new Bush family lived in Midland, later moved to Dallas, and then Washington for a year when President Bush ran for President in 1988. Barbara and Jenna attend public school in Austin.
Education: Attended Phillips Academy prep school at Andover, then Yale from 1964 until 1968 and graduated with a major in history; played baseball during freshman year and rugby during junior and senior years; became a member of the super-secret Skull and Bones society, following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather; later attended Harvard and earned a Masters of Business Administration in 1975. Bush was such a mediocre student that the dean of students at Andover was pessimistic about his chances of getting into Yale. The suggested that he have a backup option. Harvard Business school was a backup option that he had to take advantage of after the University of Texas law school turned him down. Harvard alums say the admissions process was somewhat mysterious. One of Bush's Harvard classmates was a circus barker.
Profession: In the West Texas energy business, George W. Bush started out researching who owned mineral rights. He later traded mineral and royalty interests and invested in drilling prospects. He had started his own oil and gas company by 1978, taking $17,000 from his education trust fund to set up Arbusto Energy (arbusto means Bush in Spanish). The company fell on hard times when oil prices fell. He made several attempts to revive the business, first by changing the company's name and later by merging with other companies. In 1983, Bush’s company was rescued from failure when Spectrum 7 Energy Corporation, a small oil firm owned by William DeWitt and Mercer Reynolds, bought it. Bush became chief executive officer. Harken Energy Corporation acquired Spectrum 7 in 1986, after Spectrum had lost $400,000. In the buyout deal, Bush and his partners were given more than $2 million worth of Harken stock for the 180-well operation. Bush became a director and was hired as a "consultant" to Harken. He received another $600,000 of Harken stock, and has been paid between $42,000 and $120,000 a year. By the spring of 1987, Harken was in need of cash. So Bush and his fellow Harken officials met with Jackson Stephens, head of Stephens, Inc., an investment bank in Little Rock, Arkansas (Stephens contributed $100,000 to the Reagan-Bush campaign in 1980 and gave another $100,000 to the Bush dinner committee in 1990.) Stephens arranged for Union Bank of Switzerland (UBS) to provide $25 million to Bush’s company in return for a stock interest in Harken. As part of the deal, Sheikh Abdullah Bakhsh, a Saudi real estate tycoon and financier, joined Harken's board as a major investor. Stephens, UBS, and Bakhsh each had ties to the infamous, scandal-ridden Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI). In 1990, Bush sold his remaining stock options and left the oil business. Writer Jack Colhoun revealed some details of that stock sale, referring to Bush by his childhood nickname “Junior”:
On June 22, 1990, George Jr. sold two-thirds of his Harken stock for $848,560-a cool 200 percent profit. The move was well timed. One week after Junior sold his stock, Harken announced a $23.2 million loss in quarterly earnings and Harken stock dropped sharply, losing 60 percent of its value over the next six months. On August 2, 1990, Iraqi troops moved into Kuwait and 541,000 U.S. forces were deployed to the Gulf.
"There is substantial evidence to suggest that Bush knew Harken was in dire straits in the weeks before he sold the $848,560 of Harken stock," asserted U.S. News & World Report. The magazine noted Harken appointed Junior to a 'fairness committee' to study possible economic restructuring of the company. Junior worked closely with financial advisers from Smith Barney, Harris Upham & Company, who concluded "only drastic action could save Harken."
A year earlier, in 1989, Bush prepared for his move from the oil business to the sports business when he helped assemble a group who purchased the Texas Rangers baseball team from Eddie Chiles. He and Rusty Rose served as managing general partners until Bush was elected Governor of Texas in 1994.
Career: Pilot in the Texas Air National Guard from 1968 until 1973. Attended flight school and flew F-102 aircraft with the 147th Fighter Wing, 111th Fighter Squadron of the Texas Air National Guard. Campaigned for U.S. Congress in 1978 in a large West Texas district that included his hometown of Midland. He defeated two opponents in the Republican primary, but lost in the general election to Democrat Kent Hance. After the election he went back to the energy business and built his oil company.
Bush was among the earliest financial contributors to the senate campaign of Phil Gramm in 1984. In 1986 and 1987, Bush worked on his father's presidential campaign as an adviser and speechwriter, moving to Washington in 1987 to work full time on the campaign. After the election he returned to Texas, then moved back to Washington in 1991 to work as an adviser on his father's re-election campaign. In 1994 George W. Bush defeated Democratic incumbent Ann Richards to become the 46th Governor of the State of Texas.
During his second four-year term as governor, Bush announced he was running for U.S. president. He had already been given the status of Republican front-runner in the 2000 presidential campaign. In his first four months of fund-raising, he collected record-setting contributions of $37 million.
Bush's first defeat came early in the campaign, however, with a big loss to Senator John McCain of Arizona in the New Hampshire Primary. After the sound defeat was clear in the state of New Hampshire, Karl Rove, Bush's chief strategist, was quoted congratulating McCain for winning, then oddly adding that the Bush campaign was prepared to win and beat McCain in all 50 states, although only 47 state contests remained. McCain skipped the Iowa Caucuses a week earlier, conceding that state to Bush. The razor-thin Bush win in the Alaska GOP Caucus was by a mere five votes over publisher Steve Forbes.
Sources: GEORGE W. BUSH FOR PRESIDENT 2000 web site (http://geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/4124/issues.html); Dick Stanley, "Bush dodges debris during jog," Austin American-Statesman, Nov. 2, 1999, p. A1; George W. Bush for President web site (http://www.georgewbush.com) Beth Rowen, “George W. Bush: Like Presidential father, like Presidential son?” (http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0779295.html); Kevin Merida, "Shades of Gray Matter," The Washington Post, January 19, 2000, pp. C1, C9; Jack Colhoun, “The Family That Preys Together,” Covert Action Information Quarterly, No.41 (Summer 1992) (http://mediafilter.org/caq/BushFamilyPreys.html); Richard N. Draheim, Jr., "The Bush Nazi Connection," The Dallas Libertarian Post, December 1999; Ken Herman and Scott S GreenBerger, "For Bush, a retreat to a haven for favorites: South Carolina," Austin American-Statesman, February 2, 2000, pp. A1, A11 (http://www.austin360.com/news/features/national/0202nhanalysis.html); Presidency 2000, "Alaska Caucus Results," (http://www.politics1.com/vote-ak.htm).