BLUE HEELERS STAR MOVIE AMBITIONS DASHED!

Created: Monday, 27 December 2004 Written by Den1
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Australia's favourite fat actor and star of cop drama Blue Heelers John Woods has slammed the countries film industry following the rejection of a movie script he'd written about an Olympic athlete who when on the cusp of achieving his lifelong ambition of winning the 100 metres sprint is suddenly befallen by tragedy.

"His legs fall off" said a solemn Woods. The script described by Woods as a tale of Aussie inspiration is now destined to head overseas a trend which worries the portly star.

"They don't like to take risks here anymore" he claims taking a swipe at local movie makers. "This is the type of script someone like Stephen Spielberg would die for as it's written in similar style to other movies he's made like Schindler's List and Wog Boy"

The rejection of the script is a double blow for Woods who'd pinned his hopes on playing the lead roll of Olympic athlete Kev Bimmington which movie insiders say was nothing but pure fantasy.

"When was the last time you saw a fat fifty year old running in an Olympic 100 metres?" one source said although Woods quickly dismissed the claims.

"I was going to wear a wig" he said.

Other criticisms aimed at the script were that it was only four pages long and in no way described how the athletes legs came to falling off.

"One minute he's winning races all over the place and then the next thing you know he's selling all of his shoes" the source said.

A confident Woods has merely shrugged off any criticisms of his writing insisting that the movie will one day be made although he does rue the time he wasted preparing for the lead roll.

"I spent bloody months learning to walk on my hands" he said "but I suppose I might be able to use it in my next movie which is about a gymnast who goes to the Olympics when all of a sudden his legs fall off".