Images of the Body
Your health is central to your existence and feeling of well-being. A healthy person has a clear mind and a properly functioning body. It should run like clockwork, and one obvious measurement of the ticking of this clock is your bowel regularity.
How to achieve this regularity?
Just dropped a load in the pan.
Man it looked like “The Thing”; hard dry and cracked.
A superhero was spotted in the dunny this morning.
Didn’t see any corn either.
Any of you ever squeezed out a comic book superhero?
It is a modern disgrace that facial hair is now acceptable to wear.
In the past a man wouldn’t be seen in polite company unless he had a clean face.
But look at all the bums with beards now…
Oh... very stylish. Not.
Could you get more disgusting? He even has bits off food hanging off it!
Prince William looks a dead ringer for his inbreed forefathers
And of course these bums. What sort of stupid religion would tell a man to look like this?Have you got any more examples?
I done come 'cross this here li'll ditty - right resourceful gal here is doin her own foot surgery:
She git a big 'ol nasty wart on that thar foot, 'n she take to it hack'n at it with nothin but scissors! Y'all gotta watch this here brave gal learnin ta surgery on her own foot.
Recently scientists have utilised the Shroud of Turin to construct a 3 dimensional image of Jesus Christ. These images throw into sharp relief the look of pain and suffering he had after his afternoon on the cross. Scientists working at the Xenox Institute were able to gain access to some of the raw data from the original simulation and use it to reconstruct the pecker of Jesus as it was at the moment he was wrapped in the shroud and put into Joseph’s cave.
Amazingly the 3d image of his genitalia reveals that the son of God was truly half man-half God; with the God bit stopping at about the wrist. And it appears that the crucifixion was more than a spiritual experience for JC – evidence from the 3d image shows that he may have had a boner at the time of his death!
It seems our Saviour was a bit of a kinky bastard
Professor Williams from the Xenox Institute says that they plan to recreate Christ’s pecker in plastic and sell it to the faithful.
“It would be wonderful for his devout followers to have something they could hang onto in a time of need”, the Institute boss said, “or failing that they could use it when they are feeling a bit horny for their Lord and Master."