MEET MY DEMANDS

What a boner he's got!
- Dick Limp

My limp dick won't let me sail...

Really gave me a start! Reminds me of the time I was doing pure science on diet regimes. What d'ya mean? I was cleared! She never put much weight on, that's all. Did I ever mention the time I repaired an anal fistula with a chinese finger trap?

are changing....

the lying rodent is o his way OUT!

She was the patron saint of whores who play piano in whorehouses.
Wasn't she?

She didnt change her knickers for a full year; they seemd to have a life of their own.

Now they are a holy relic. Right next to the nail of the cross, Padre Pio's pus, and the foreskin of jesus.

The Catholic Church is the home of rationality.

There is a story of a Priest who came to bang our blessed Saint Cecila. He asked the madam for her services and she was sent to her room.

"She layed there on the bed and she looked so delicious I took back every word I said"

The Priest removed his frock and then removed hers. But when it came to her filthy drawers it was impossible. It was like they were stuck on.

"Oh, Father, I know not why!" cried our blessed Cecila.

Then a voice from her fanny cried out:

"begone Satan!" and the priest miraculously turned into the horny one and fled the Brothel of bleeding Mother Mary.

And so it was, the first miracle of Saint Cecila. The other miracles were rather more pedestrian; a cured sick child, a bleeding statue (from the cunt), and a turd that wouldn't flush.

I'm sure that Rupert, the dirty digger, will say the right soothing things to get our little hero across the line, if "the powers that be" so ordain!
One must never underestimate the powers of mass idiocy.
- The Voice of Prophecy