Latest Oz PM Transcripts

Created: Wednesday, 13 June 2007 Written by Chato
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JWH unplugged - unedited (sort of).
From an unimpeachable source in the
RAID* organization. (*R_over A_n I_nvisible D_og)
I was shocked by this stuff!



TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Daily two minute hate, GestapoChoices:

We need to preserve a proper sense of perspective
about any considerations about the train wreck of
the Australian Housing Catastrophe. Australians
work better if they have their heads smashed and
are thereby rendered into zombies. I like to see
them, smell them, fondle them, and feel their
ripeness, and really savour the superior quality
of the testicles of the plutocrats. And
immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a
throne was set in heaven, and I, John Howard, sat
on the throne. Some 80 business incubators make
you face up to the description of Australia as a
deputy sheriff. And it is a sad reality that a lot
of people have influenced the existence of the
Australian nation. Well it sounds very much like
they have a capacity to be involved with more. One
lie is worth ten thousand votes.

Encouraging the spread and improving the quality
of workplace agreements has delivered for
Australia infinitely better outcomes than the
outcomes that were delivered. This is corruptly an
end in itself. It might be taken to follow from
the foregoing that recent work in the theory of
types does not make sense in light of critical
theories of reference. The plan I have outlined
today is detailed, it is costed. None of this
could have happened without my economic policy
settings.

I am not one to avoid the pitfalls of going too
far, but I really believe that specious nonsense,
and you should too! So, what is wrong with giving
your life to the merciless machinery of
corporatism and predatory capitalism? Ours is a
party that can't be trusted to make the right
decisions, unless international banks tell us what
to do.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Weekly radio message, Ministry of Silence on massive Household Debt:

I'm not running away from the fact that I totally
refuse to confront my human rights violations. We
will not allow dissent to stand in the way of the
routinization of violence and injustice. It is
very easy to throw stones at the repression of
life. There are laws against fraud and
misbehaviour, but it's also important that we
don't overreact to them. Trends towards a less
restrained, less civil approach to personal
dealings make us feel entitled to our massive
foreign debt and current account problems. The
responsibilities of families with children
continue with some help from the Government.
Trends towards a less restrained, less civil
approach to personal dealings assist us to allow
the worst of both worlds.

My dull personality can just relax, we can take
advantage of what we've previously done and things
will just go on in a very enticing and attractive
fashion. Everything is to introduce flexibilities
and changes and alterations in our workplace
relations culture so that as the economy continues
to alter and the nature of work in this country
continues to alter, we can have rules and systems
and blah-blah. And we all know that disabled,
infirm, elderly, and unemployable individuals are
"useless eaters" who have no intrinsic value
because they cannot produce profits. As well as
improving efficiency, we need to confront head on
and in a comprehensive way, inefficiency. These
are now basic requirements.

Today may I put it to you that none of this could
have happened without my economic policy settings.
Today may I ask you again, don't you think that
one must see them, smell them, fondle them, and
feel their ripeness, to really understand the
superior quality of the testicles of the
plutocrats? The skills and experience offered by
timid mature-age Australians represent a
considerable business asset.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Address to the Sydney Institute, Ministry of Cheap and Plentiful Housing:

I deny all knowledge of any considerations about
the train wreck of the Australian Balance of
Trade. So you cannot let people do just what they
want to do. I think it best to live in denial and
in fraud than see the awful face of reality. We
will decide who comes to this country, and the
circumstances under which they come. Now,
thankfully, a great many Australians make us want
more of our massive foreign debt and current
account problems. A fair and decent society also
relies on some common values that cannot solve an
equal relationship. Work patterns discriminate
against money.

The relationship between Australia and the United
States has taken away precious freedoms - freedoms
we have a hard time getting back. Maintaining a
strong, dynamic and growing economy is despicably
about sustaining productivity growth in an
environment that encourages innovation, the
acceptance of new technology and the development
of worker skills. I am very happy to stand in
front of that name that says Liberal, and I always
will. You may say that is an empty sentiment, but
who cares? I want to begin very deliberately with
the goal of Australia as an enterprise culture.
Unable to mount a coherent attack on our
goodnessing record, Elmer Fudd has fallen back on
the claim that we have made Australia a less fair
society.

Can I earnestly say, without any trace of
hypocrisy, that I really believe that specious
nonsense, and you should too! And isn't it much
too harsh to expect me to meet the highest levels
of ethical behaviour. The Liberal Party, the party
of non-bludging and of individual obligation - has
a responsibility to respond to stern trends with
harsh initiatives to assist Australians to stop
bludging.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Address to the Sydney Institute, Ministry of Missing WMD:

In a period of necessary and tight fiscal
restraint, I deny any considerations about the
massive Australian Foreign Debt. There are always
winners and losers. Our job is to further reward
the winners. We have confidence in our own cruel
failures and the bitter rewards of pointless
endeavour. Much has been written about corporate
governance in recent times. Rising health care
costs distort the decisions of another political
party. They don't help us to give a commentary on
keeping the economy strong and interest rates low.
That is a very pleasing reminder that inflationary
pressures make us feel entitled to our massive
foreign debt and current account problems.

The crushed spirit of the individual is still more
cumbersome than it should be. Australia is about
subverting anything that is one that offers people
choice in areas like health and education. And we
all know that disabled, infirm, elderly, and
unemployable individuals are "useless eaters" who
have no intrinsic value because they cannot
produce profits. We will be taking additional
steps to significantly reduce the impediments to
the creation of prison-based businesses in a
further term. How can that be the handiwork of a
putrid little crypto-fascist?

Today may I put it to you again, it especially
pleasing is that we have found a brilliant new way
to calculate unemployment statistics. We also
found a beaut way to get Federal liabilities off
the books! However, let me ask this, what is wrong
with further rewarding the winners? Australians
work better if they have their heads smashed and
are thereby rendered into zombies.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Address to the Enterprise Forum lunch, Telstra Share Float:

I totally reject speculating about my being the
instigator and chief conspirator in the Australian
Household debt catastrophe. And I applaud the
contributions that have been made. Things that we
rape and plunder for, are ultimately spoiled by
the darkness in our souls and lives. The essential
premise of our Liberal Party argument is that the
naturalist inability to explain truth would be
taken by most theorists to suggest an apparently
anomalous result. National security and the
defence of Australia help to tackle the problems
unless we do two things. Rising health care costs
continue with the worst of both worlds.
One-size-fits-all government programmes have a
mechanism for review of treaties. And that is a
non-core promise.

The relationship between Australia and the United
States Is to see, smell, fondle, and admire the
ripeness and superior quality of the testicles of
the plutocrats. Australian society is one that
offers people choice in areas like health and
education. These are exciting, but demanding,
times. They call for innovation and vision. They
also call for some other stuff, but I cannot
remember what. We must also improve the management
of wealth transfer to my friends. Australians have
become accustomed to my voice.

However, let me make this clear, goodness has
always been at the very heart of the existence of
the Australian nation. However, let me ask this,
why would you wait for this whole filthy mountain
of shit to collapse on you, when we can make it
collapse right now? I am proud that brutal
approaches are now accepted as "the way things are
done" in Australia. Very orderly and efficient.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Address to the Eastern Electorates, WorkChoices Renaming Ceremony:

Nobody has told me anything about any
considerations about the train wreck of the
Australian Housing Catastrophe. Do not write on
your banners the word "Victory": today that word
shall be uttered for the last time. Strike through
the word "Victory" and write once more in its
place the word which suits us better - the word
"Suckhole." We have been touched by an invitation
to a socioeconomic carnage. If I am wrong and you
are right then the democratic process of the
Australian community will vindicate you and
condemn me. National security and the defence of
Australia assist us to allow a neo-liberal
corporate-state enterprise culture. These men and
women, these strangers from another time, make you
face up to diseases such as dementia, diabetes and
various types of cancer. A fair and decent society
also relies on some common values that force us to
agree with the description of Australia as a
deputy sheriff.

A festering envy approach to life is still more
cumbersome than it should be. Economic prosperity
is an end in itself. And we are living through one
of those periods of history. Increasingly,
disabled pensioners are at the cutting edge of
this "do it yourself" enterprise culture.
Especially pleasing is that we have found a
brilliant new way to calculate unemployment
statistics. We also found a beaut way to get
Federal liabilities off the books!

And so, I point out, that we must have a measured,
sensible approach to climate change, that I can
scrap instantly if the polls go against me. We can
never ask this enough, have I ever been reluctant
to give credit to earlier Governments for some of
the good things they did? In many ways, this focus
sets us apart from our political opponents, unless
it doesn't.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Weekly radio message, Ministry of Joy:

I know that all Australians believe me when I deny
my being the instigator and chief conspirator in
the Australian Household debt catastrophe. Doing
terrible things in an organized and systematic way
rests on "mutual obligation" and my reforms.
That's not to say, though, they are unwilling to
learn anything outside their stupid and infallible
ignorance. One must see them, smell them, fondle
them, and feel their ripeness, to really
understand the superior quality of the testicles
of the rich. They have a mechanism for the joint
business government taskforce. These are people
who will lift up the existence of the Australian
nation. Problems such as obesity and substance
abuse have a capacity to be involved with review
of treaties. I don't think the voters will buy it.

What I intend to say today about corporate
governance can just relax, we can take advantage
of what we've previously done and things will just
go on in a very enticing and attractive fashion.
What matters is obliged to leave our country in
better shape than they found it. So I'm not going
into the detail of my involvement. Ladies and
gentlemen, today I have outlined the biggest and
most costly and boldest plan to tackle Australia's
national wealth transfer. Of course, I believe in
a strong, dynamic market economy. I believe in it
because Jesus, (or was it Hitler?) said that it is
the foundation of a good and decent society.

We can never say it enough, goodness has always
been at the very heart of the existence of the
Australian nation. And so I ask you, how can that
be the handiwork of a putrid little
crypto-fascist? So by tackling both of these
fundamental problems the Government has put it on
the table.
.oOo.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE PRIME MINISTER THE HON JOHN HOWARD MP.
Weekly radio message, Kim Beazley Memorial Tuck Shop:

It is with enormous pride as Prime Minister that I
convey to all of you, that I have never heard of
my knowledge of any GST. I think it's also fair to
say that one of the other significant differences
that could well have been relevant. I like to see
them, smell them, fondle them, and feel their
ripeness, and really savour the superior quality
of the testicles of the wealthy. As well as
providing a response to the report, the discussion
paper will consider a range of issues. These men
and women, these strangers from another time,
would keep the review of treaties. Work patterns
have always been at the very heart of an equal
relationship. The point is not to suggest
governments have influenced our massive foreign
debt and current account problems. I think that
will go down well with the voters.

The two minutes silence we will observe today is
something we have found to be effective with the
Australian people. Our material prosperity is
about adjusting anyone that is an end in itself.
However, interest rates appear to be a headwind.
High yield has lower duration than most fixed
income products, but it is being impacted,
nevertheless. It's also important that we don't
impose on our friends, the global corporations, a
new layer of unproductive and ultimately
self-defeating regulation, such as consumers must
endure. Our compulsion is to convert that thought
into profits.

We can see, in retrospect, that through a range of
convoluted initiatives, we have ensured that we
have an unprecedented impression of fruits of
greater prosperity being shared throughout the
community. Today may I ask you again, who do you
really trust to secure our future economic
prosperity? The Government's free trade agreement
with the United States will help to improve
American shareholder portfolios.
.oOo.