AUSSIE P.M. TO LOSE HIS HEAD IN IRAQ

Created: Wednesday, 04 May 2005 Written by Chato
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The Prime Mutant will offer his own
head in exchange for Aussie hostage. Judas Whinestone Horrid has
confessed that during his morning
epileptic fit, an angel appeared and
told him to mend his wicked ways.

"I realized that I am a Christian,
and that as I am a cause of the
filthy mess in Iraq, I must seek
absolution by offering myself for
beheading in the hope of the release
of the Aussie Hostage!"

As tears of remorse ran down his
wine-addled cheeks, he begged the
universe to forgive him for his
years as a sociopathic dictator -

"I know I have been very bad and I
have hurt many blameless people.
I deliberately vilified and hurt
those who could not fight back.
I gloried in my power and felt glee
at the plight of the poor.
I stole from the honest to enrich
the wicked rich.
I have lived high on the public
purse and given back betrayal in
sleazy exchange.
I encouraged war-worshipping wankers
to support awful carnage.
I have dirtied high public office.
I have deliberately allowed others
to pay for my own crimes and now it
is time for me to pay! Please accept
my head as a sacrificial token."

"I have instructed Lord Downer of
Baghdad to send my head to the
angered Iraqis in exchange for the
innocent hostage. It is the least I
can do in the face of my terrible
burden of guilt!"

Kim Beatable, the well paid loser
and leader of the opposition has
commented thus:
"As always, the P.M. has my full
support."