70 YEAR OLD AUSSIE PM ADOPTS XENOXNEWS WORK CONTRACTS

In an inspired move; Australia's decrepit leader, 70 year old PM John Howard, has decided to invoke the XenoxNews work contract as the standard employer-employee form.

It reads as follows..

XENOX NEWS EMPLOYEE WORK CONTRACT

1. I will do what my boss says.
2. The amount of pay I get is entirely negotiable at any time, and if my boss doesn't want to pay me, I'll gladly agree.
3. I will spunk all over union officials.

XenoxNews editor Tex Lumbago was quoted as saying he was proud that a fucking old cunt like Howard saw fit to recognise the dynamic business model of XenoxNews, and that what's good for XenoxNews must be good for Australia.