P.M. says, "I PROMISE!"

Created: Tuesday, 28 June 2005 Written by Chato
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National leader reassures the Oz
public and stands on his
established record as he gains
absolute power over both houses
of Oz parliament. The little American arsewipe and
Prick Manipulator has told the
Ostrichlian pod-people that they
can safely remain in their deep
trances, safe in the Matrix,
while he goes about keeping his
core-promises to large global
corporations and despotic
non-democratic regimes.

Having just extracted his head
from the arse of one of the
powerful globalist monsters who
own him, the evil dwarf droned
his list of non-core promises.

"I promise that I will not go mad
with power, and
I promise that I will not
continue to destroy the good
nation of Ostrichlia, and
I promise that the low-paid
workers will not be tricked and
fucked-over by me and my good
mates, and
I promise that I will not further
disadvantage and torment people
who depend on welfare, and
I promise that I will stop
calling people bludgers, and
I promise that I will stop
sucking the arses of powerful
criminal elites, and
I promise that I will stop
pretending the Chinese Government
is kind-hearted, and
I promise that I will give
Chinese defectors political
asylum without tormenting them
first, and
I promise that I will stop
pretending to be sincere, and
I promise that I will stop
pretending to represent the
interests of ordinary
Ostrichlians, and
I promise that I will stop living
a parasitic life off the backs of
the taxpayers, and
I promise that I will stop
blaming others for my crimes, and
I promise that I will stop my
pathological lying."