THE CURE THAT CURES

Tuesday, 20 February 2007 By DOCTOR_BENWAY
The sad state of the typical Oz mind
has brought us to the brink of a
mental health catastrophe.
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"The pain, the awful pain!" I increasingly hear
my Oz clients wailing this. Luckily for the Oz
galoots, Recreational Psychiatry has a cure
for the pain that derives from the effort to
comprehend the contradictions of the world.

I have pledged to help the poorly mentally
endowed to cope with the turgid load of drivel
that the mass-media propaganda machine
parades before these poor unfortunates.
If they were functional at birth, years spent
watching the videodrome of television will
reduce them to a state of drooling idiocy that
lives in extreme fear of the most trivial
mental challenge.

Of course, there is no question that these poor
morons can be returned to any useful role, but
I can, with great artistry, reconnect the
overloaded cortical networks into the gluteal
region. Some trivial and unchallenging diversion,
such as being a Prime Minister or somesuch,
can keep these modified creatures happily
distracted for years and years.
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