Anthrax scare through mad rabbit hypoxis

Created: Friday, 20 August 2004 Written by Pervis
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terrorist threat!Authorities have issued warnings worldwide of possible widespread African Potato transmitted anthrax attacks.

Despite the fact that the possibilty of anthrax transmission through this popular garden plant has been evident for quite some time, according to the World Health Organisation, bilharzia is now responsible for illness among some 2.5 million people in southern Africa, of which about 10 per cent are severely infected.

Ant S'an, leader of the well known sect 'Jihad against the North Island' (or JANI) broadcasted a live dissertation on their intifada promoting website last month (traced by CIA operatives as originating from an IP address in Invercargill, New Zealand) stated that their reign of terror would be escalated through the proliferation of the Cinderella disease! The World Health Organisation has acknowledged that this highly contagious strain is known to have a massive distribution throughout the southern tip of Africa.

Using genetic engineering, Bilharzial molecules are being produced in the bowels of the Jihad clinics run by Ant with the intention to disperse them throughout the western world by distributing the virus by contaminating tubers of these otherwise far from innocuous plants.

Florist and horticulturists have been put on red alert following the broadcasts which were intercepted by the newly reformed CIA.

South Africa’s only active expert in the field is Professor Chris Appleton, of the University of Natal School of Life & Environmental Sciences, on the Durban campus.

Appleton says research on the disease has virtually come to a standstill and the emphasis is at present on controlling its spread, through treatment. While Bilharazia is widespread and still highly prevalent, Appelton insisted that even though it does not receive as much attention as direct violent terrorist attacks within one generation our world has jumped from an era when “warfare” meant a set-piece confrontation between peoples or nations, to one of paralyzing cyber “worms” engineered by lone hackers and, worse even, toxins which can kill humans, crops and animals at the whim of a handful of fanatics.

Due to its location and characteristics residents of Tower Lodge Motel, Invercargill, only walking distance to the local museums, golf course and historical downtown shopping centre, have been put on a curfew.

Tuber holders and distributors have been complaining about being held up for hours as they try to either enter or exit the building where this years International Tuber Association Convention is being held.

Chinangwa ndi Mbatata Roots and Tuber Association (CMRTA) are purported to have lodged official complaints at the Invercargill library.

The head librarian stated on national television last week that although experts had been in to carry out the collection of suspect specimens, the real protest in recent times was directed toward the large hike in the subscription price imposed for the Ten Surprises In The Bill Clinton "60 Minutes" Interview DVD that was in constant high demand.

New Zealand authorities are keeping a close watch on the situation.