Smart Negotiators

Created: Sunday, 06 April 2003 Written by YUGO
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Reports of an elite Iraqui team of negotiators are starting to filter through from Baghdad. Aerobatic sky-divers have been recruited and given specialist training in the art of negotiating with US smart bombs. "Our teams have already persuaded several smart bombs from detonating," claims the Iraqi leadership.

Getting to the negotiating table is half the struggle.


Fired from re-engineered artillery pieces, several sky divers are launched when incoming missiles are detected with the hope of getting at least one negotiator somewhere close to their target. "It's tricky getting close enough for the smart bomb to hear us. We have to yell very loudly and clearly and we only have a short period of time to negotiate. Sometimes the best we can do is dissuade them from detonating near civilians before we disengage otherwise we also get caught in the blast. All of them are intent on finding and killing Sadaam if possible." explains an Iraqi team member. All Bombs are not created equal and some smart bombs are just plain stupid. Should negotiations fail the Iraqi's are equipped with explosives which they can detonate destroying the smart bomb and themselves.