INVESTING IN JESUS

Created: Friday, 17 November 2006 Written by Chato
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In these pragmatic times how does an
ultra-materialistic christian get the
spiritual Saviour on-side?


If you are a John-loving, cross-waving, bible-owning,
piece of subhuman shit, you will sooner or later
have to make some sort of offer to that pathetic and
laughable loser named Jesus.

What a miserable example he gave to his howardly faithful.
No property portfolio, no shares - he was not even a
blood-sucking landlord. He had no money, and apart from
making his own cross was obviously some sort of bludger.

How can a true son of market-reform appeal to this loser
for his soul's salvation and hide his superior smirk?
It is a terrible fix to be in. Maybe the superior investor
could set up some kind of family-trust to hide his assets
from the all-seeing eye of God. He will have to consult
his accountant - maybe a contribution to the righteous
Liberal Party could get Jesus on side.

How does one do it? Take all one's plunder to Heaven
just in case Heaven gets a bit dull. What about the
sleazy property market that has made so many parasites
enormously wealthy? Is that still on in Heaven?

Fuck you Jesus! Fuck you for making life so complicated
for good yuppies. Where is your compassion, you cunt?

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