ON BOARD THE PIRATE SHIP MONOGAMY...

Created: Sunday, 31 July 2005 Written by Green Haired Jim

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Stinking hot Caribbean sun. Glowing red raw; my arse hanging out my draws like those purple assed baboons of Africa. Join the Navy I did; I wanted to see the world... Now me knackers are just two stock cubes in a sack rubbed red raw from overuse.
Baby, life on the seas just ain't what it was meant to be.
I stumbled down Eildon Road Jamaica...Every whore had her fanny for show...too bad I'd already eaten them...
The next day I'm up in the crows nest getting my daily mouthful from the Cap'n; glorious views we had: him the horizons, me his hairy ball sack.

Who wouldn't want to be a Pirate?

Mother said my Green Hair was both a blessing and a curse...it attracted all sorts of nasty people.

I did get to fuck at least one cunt on my voyage: she was pleasant Polynesian lass, rescued from Easter Island. Did a belly dance that caused my jelly to come out...man I loved her to the end of that world!

Now all I have is the snuff and the baking soda, the opium ball black and greasy. I rubbed the small ball on my trousers and then put it into my pipe, dreamin of a Shanghai babe suckin her pipe and then sucking on mine... thank you girl... i'll love you till the end of the world...these dreams busted by the nightmare of the Cap'n reaming me red raw over the bridge...

Nights alone...the sausage being slapped sideways…the lapping waves served to remind us of our ultimate end…
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