The Disabled Bludgers And The Kindly Plutocrats

Created: Sunday, 04 February 2007 Written by *CAPTAIN_AUSTRALIA*
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(The Disabled Bludgers Who Caused All The Trouble)


Within the memory of the youngest child there was
a family of disabled bludgers who lived near a
gang of kindly plutocrats. The kindly plutocrats
announced that they did not like the way the
disabled bludgers were living. (The kindly
plutocrats were crazy about the way they
themselves were living, because it was the only
way to live.)

It so happened, that one night several kindly
plutocrats lost money on land speculation and this
was blamed on the disabled bludgers, for it is
well known that disabled bludgers create tremors
as they search through garbage bins, and that
causes a land price crash.

On another night one of the kindly plutocrats had
his futures portfolio wiped-out, So the kindly
plutocrats decided to civilize the disabled
bludgers if they didn't behave, and the disabled
bludgers decided to run away to a garbage tip. But
the other people, who lived at a safe distance,
shamed them by saying,
"You must stay where you are and be brave.
THIS IS NO WORLD FOR ESCAPISTS!
If the kindly plutocrats attack you, we will come
to your aid in all probability."

So the disabled bludgers continued to live near
the kindly plutocrats and one day there was a
stock market crash which shocked a great many
kindly plutocrats. This was blamed on the disabled
bludgers, for it is well known that those without
stock portfolios cause stock market crashes. The
kindly plutocrats descended on the disabled
bludgers, for their own good, and imprisoned them
in a dark cave, for their own protection.

When nothing was heard about the disabled bludgers
for some years, the other people demanded to know
what had happened to them. The kindly plutocrats
replied that the disabled bludgers had been
reformed by market forces, and since they had been
reformed the affair was a purely mutual-obligation
matter. But the other people warned that they
might possibly unite against the kindly plutocrats
unless some reason was given for the destruction
of the disabled bludgers.
So the kindly plutocrats gave them one.
"They were trying to escape," said the kindly
plutocrats, "and, as you know,
THIS IS NO WORLD FOR ESCAPISTS!"