AUSSIE PM HERR FUCKEDNUCKLE: “MY PLANS FOR AUSTRALIA!”

Created: Thursday, 23 December 2010 Written by XenoxNews Politics Desk

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Oh the trappings of political power soon go to the head of those unwise enough to succumb to its lure!

 

Here is a story of an ordinary fellow who got caught up in extraordinary events and became the most powerful man in Australia.

 

A simple man who prior to gaining office loved nothing more than twanging his wire alone in his room.

 

Trapped in a whirlwind of slogans, theology, ideology, and plain old sexual perversion; Herr Fucknuckle rose out of the turgid miasma of existence that are the eastern suburbs of Melbourne to transform the once great nation of Australia into a writhing pit of sexual deviance, incest,  buggary, and casual misdemeanors.

He blew apart the safe ways of previous governments. Political thought; political power; had never assumed that such an insignificant man (“That tiny little wanker” one pundit called him) could wreck such havoc on them. But when he strode into the Lodge as head of the “Get the GST off Tissues Party Canberra was never the same again.

 

Pitching for the Country Folk Vote!

 

Once made King of Australia his first port of call was that bumbling Senator Conroy. Herr Fuckedyouruncle wasted no time in wielding his broom of popular mandate and swept this reactionary fart aside. Like Lenin he wanted a new form of government. Like Lincoln he wanted to let all people have their wicked way. And like Churchill he liked to fuck little boys.

 

After pummeling Conroy he moved onto other recalcitrants of the Australian Political Scene. Male or Female he showed no favour or bias; all were ripe for his hard blade of blood and flesh.

 

As an example old Bronny Bishop was rogered over the speaker’s chair like some cheap tramp. The public gallery roared their approval, the press gallery bowed their head. Laurie Oakes was heard to moan “Oh! The shame of it all!”

 

 

Not if anymore… we have the leader we all deserve :)

 

“If I have been elected PM then it must be I am wont to do what the people will,”

PM Fuckednuckle opined,

“and so I shall. From the highest hilltop to the squeakiest beach I will resurrect this great brown land!”

 

Being such an open character he had nothing to fear from Wikileaks. In fact upon hearing of young Aussie Assange’s antics Herr Fuckedandsticky appointed him Minister of Communications and Female Affairs.

 

Who said politics couldn’t be fun?

 

World Leaders congratulate Herr Fucknuckle on his 2010 election victory!

 

PM Fudgeknuckle has a long record of public utterances that indicate a fevered mind always looking for a better future, a longer life, a new ideal for living…

 

International relations? He is on the case!

 

The arts. Did you say the arts? He is a poet! A lorikeet of rhyme!

 

On matters of faith; always a supporter.  A true believer in all religions.

 

 

What do we want from our leaders? That is the question that drives PM Fucknuckle…

 

Be thankful we live in a time when we have his guidance; with his magic wand of flesh and blood he will lead all us Aussies onto a future of brightness and cream!

 

 

Oh Australia! There is no greater evil then the one you are with...