Fucknuckle Remains Coy on return to Politics

Created: Friday, 01 February 2013 Written by Staff Reporter

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Former political high flyer and degenerate masturbator Herr Fucknuckle has not ruled out a return to Aussie politics now that the date for the next election has been announced.

tissues

Herr Fucknuckle was a leading proponent of the "Get the GST of Tissues" party in previous elections.


Fucknuckle, who briefly ruled Australia as PM after the last election, has maintained high poll ratings with the Aussie public  and often been suggested as returning back to politics. However when XenoxNews.com confronted Herr Fuckedyouruncle about his intentions for this year’s election he run for his door and slammed it shut on us. Later we contacted his secretary to see if it was possible to get an interview with the reclusive misanthrope but she claimed he was busy with “internet research” and could not be bothered.

 

No photos of Fucknuckle have been made public - here is an artists rendering of him.

Other political figures have been more forthcoming about him however; with leading Liberal party figure Malcolm Turnbull saying Herr Fuckednuckles would be a welcome figure in the “broad church that is the Australian Liberal Party”. But Senator Conroy, leading Internet wowser, distanced the Labor party from him saying that he didn’t want perverts of Fuckheads type in the ALP.

 

We will continue to harass Herr Fucknuckle until we can get a comment from him.