The size of the proton shrinks: Proof of God?

Created: Thursday, 08 July 2010 Written by Padre Pio
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It has well been considered that your protons, the subatomic particle around which your electrons twitter in electrified delight, are the sin non qua of your being. A positive spark of electro-mechanical energy essential for all of lifes transactions. A happy ‘p’ deep inside your brain.

 

Long have the poindexters labored to envision this particle, but it has remained as mysterious as the morning dew on your girls fingertips. They have tried to shoot them out of canons, blow them up in fireballs, or scale the heights of space to view them; but as of yet no one has been able to measure these darn little critters. That is until now, because those overpaid scroungers of the public purse have finally pinned the pusillanimous proton down and measured the fucker.

 

And what do you know; they have been sizing it wrong all the time!

 

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Scientist holding a 'proton'

 

SO once again we have the sad spectacle of these blubber mouthed sociopaths arguing amongst each other about the size of their ‘p’. Well I can tell you, we already knew you scientists had smaller dicks!

 

And what exactly does a smaller proton size mean? Where does it fit into the tapestry of scientific explanations for everything?

 

What it means is that once again the ineptitude and boastfulness of the scientist is plain to see.

 

And they deign to tell us that god doesn’t exist?

 

Fuck them!

 

They know nothing but the insides of their laboratories. And what dark dank stinky places they are. If they can’t measure the fundamental building blocks of life correctly, how can we trust any of their measurements? How can we believe any of their daily trumpeted breakthroughs?

 

For the faithful out there this is the final nail in the coffin of science enforced atheism. Remember, the next time you hear some dickhead Dawkins wannabe sounding off about the ‘scientific method’ tell the fuckhead that if your average overpaid and undersexed scientist can’t tell me how big my protons are they can’t tell me nothing!