Created: Friday, 07 May 2004 Written by MaxMINI-ME AUSSIE PM PREPARES FOR THE FIGHT OF HIS LIFE!
SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME
I'M TIRED AND I WANT TO GO TO BED
I HAD A LITTLE WAR ABOUT A YEAR AGO
NOW I'VE LOST COUNT OF THE DEAD.
The disgraced and discredited lame-duck U.S. President and Commander-in-Thief, George Ariel Bush, has crawled from his Crawford bunker onto Arab TV to excuse the torment inflicted by U.S. occupation forces on Iraqi captives.
This unprecedented move was forced upon the Shrub by the release of photographs of grinning Reservists mugging in front of naked, terrorised Iraqis.
Major-Major General-General Geoffrey Miller, in charge of the U.S. "prison system" in Iraq, has offered a personal apology for the "mistreatment".
His Commander-in-Thief did not apologise.
The U.S. is currently "investigating" 14 prisoner deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan, and 10 "abuse cases", according to official Military spokesthings. The Pentagon admits that 25 have died in U.S. military custody, and congressional officials warn that the prisoner abuse scandal in Iraq goes much deeper. Perhaps they mean "much higher"?
One thing's for sure: these assaults are only a reflection of the greater crimes visited upon Iraq by Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and the rest of the neo-CON lunatics in charge of the White House asylum.
In a desperate attempt to deflect global outrage, the Shrub appeared on two carefully selected networks broadcasting across the incensed Middle East.
He sought to reassure Muslims around the world that he too was opposed to sodomy. TV-addled U.S. citizens, however, are puzzled as to why their inflamed rectums are so sore after less than two terms in office by the Bushies.
"People in Iraq must understand that I view those practices as ab-horrent," said the Shrub, squinting at a word he'd never seen before in all his spoiled, frat-boy years of a-learnin'. "This is a serious matter, a matter that reflects badly on our country... This is a free country. We do not tolerate this kind of abuse."
Abhorent practices? You mean, like, unilaterally attacking a a country posing no real threat to you, bombing and maiming its citizens, and, like, lying about it? THAT abhorent?
King George the Inept was, of course, referring to snapshots taken by representatives of his version of U.S. democracy in the infamous Abu Ghraib prison - photographs far worse than the sanitised images shown in news media showing scenes of humiliation, violence and sexual abuse. Blood is seen on the walls. At least one photo is said to show an Iraqi boy being raped.
For inflicting these appalling cruelties, the sicko U.S. personnel identified in the photos are sure to be severely "reprimanded".
Once the exclusive playground of thugs working for former dictator and U.S. protégé Saddass Hussein, Abu Ghraib was taken over by the U.S military, the walls given a lick of paint and the hinges of cell doors given a squirt of oil. Abu Ghraib was soon full of Iraqi passers-by.
Most of the several thousand prisoners were civilians picked up in random U.S. military sweeps and at highway checkpoints. They included women and teenagers.
U.S. Army General George Casey has admitted that Iraqi prisoners there were sexually humiliated, abused and beaten while videotaped and photographed by their U.S. captors.
Defence Sickretary Don Rumsfeld, however, says he doesn't believe the scenes shown in the snapshots amount to torture. The deranged Rummy reckons torture is "technically different" from abuse. I wonder what he would believe if someone shoved a broken flashlight up his arse and poured liquid phosphorous over his quaking, naked body. Technically different, hmm?
And who the fuck knows WHAT goes on in the U.S. concentration camp in Guantanamo Bay where 595 "suspects" are being held indefinitely, even though there is no evidence to charge them with any crime. In fact, the crime - in Guantanamo Bay, in shattered Afghanistan and in shattered Iraq - is currently all-American.
No, I haven't forgotten that under Saddam Hussein Abu Ghraib housed as many as 50,000 men and women and was, as Seymour Hersh says, "one of the world's most notorious prisons, with torture, weekly executions, and vile living conditions".
And I haven't forgotten that the Yanks are supposed to be the fucking GOOD GUYS!
On Arab TV, the Commander-in-Thief inspired by God no less than was/is MIA Osama bin Laden continued his curious spiel:
The people of Iraq "must understand that what took place in that prison does not represent the America that I know. The America I know is a compassionate country that believes in freedom. The America I know cares about every individual. The America I know has sent troops into Iraq to promote freedom, good honourable citizens that are helping Iraqis everyday."
Iraqis are still wondering what planet the U.S. President is on.
The America I know ignores international laws, treaties and obligations.
The America I know has killed 10,000 or so Iraqi civilians, and maimed and traumatised countless others. Countless, because U.S. forces can't be bothered counting.
The America I know sponsors political assassination and acts of terror.
The America I know locks its opponents away in isolated concentration camps without access to family, media or legal representation.
The America I know threatens and invades sovereign nations to further the political aims and ambitions of its dysfunctional President.
The America I know has made the world a far more dangerous place than it has been since the so-called Cold War.
Now, the incoherent Shrub in the Oval Orifice is demanding that Congress approve another $US25 billion ($A34.37 billion) for his neo-CON adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan, despite his pledge not to siphon off military mad money before the November election. This extra funding will stack on top of the $US160 billion ($A219.98 billion) blown away in two previous war spending bills, with even more bucks to be sucked into his neo-CON quagmire next year.
Bush's Australian Mini-Me appendage is also spending big - in a Downunder, lapdog, suck-hole sort of way - with a $232 million intelligence boost for "the fight of our lives" against terrorism.
As part of HIS pre-election splurge, Aussie PM Johnny Germ plans to expand Australia's intelligence network. This would be the same intelligence network Howard cherry-picked to support his own plans for war in Iraq while ignoring all contrary information.
"The fight of our lives", Johnny? Only if you're a federal Liberal politician.
Meanwhile, back in yet another alternate universe (Holywood, as opposed to Washingtoon) the Disney Company is stopping its Miramax division from distributing astute Lefty millionaire Michael Moore's new film "Fahrenheit 911".
Moore's latest documentary links the Shrub and prominent Saudis - including the bin Ladens - and criticises the Titular Texan's conduct before and after the pre-emptive strikes by Saudis using hijacked planes on 11 September 2001.
Disney is naturally anxious to protect the lucrative tax breaks it gets for its theme park, hotels and other doddles in Florida, where the state governor is the U.S. Presidunce's brother, Jeb Bush.
And wasn't it nice to hear how "cooperative" Bush has been in a closed, unobserved and unrecorded meeting with the 9/11 Commission (whose creation he opposed and whose questions he and his cronies have dodged ever since). It was a very private affair conducted behind closed doors in the White House itself: just a few Commissioners and l'i'l ol' George and Vice Presidevil Dick Cheney.
In fact, investigators were most impressed when Bush spoke while Cheney drank a glass of water.
Neo-CON diehards and political illiterates continue to flog the dead horse that "fixing" Iraq is crucial in the fight against global terrorism. Fix it? Well, folks, it was broken before, it sure is fucked now.
We all know invading Iraq was a diversion, not only from the failure to find Osama Bin Laden or "fix" Afghanistan, but also the domestic financial and political scandals ensnaring the Bushies. In Iraq, foreign fighters - that, is the U.S., British, etc - are dying for nothing just to keep the neo-CON smokescreen blowing. The blowback is no doubt on its way.
And as with the U.S. and poor little Iraq, so with their Australian sidekicks and poor little East Timor: we want THEIR bloody oil! Bloody indeed.
The shameless Aussie grab for oil and gas resources in the Timor Sea by PM Johnny Germ Howard exposes his purported support for East Timorese national independence for what it always what: sheer ratbag opportunism.
This was Max Gross for xenoxnews.com, whining and winning hearts and minds, losing Tattslotto, and finding solace in another vodka spritzer. Cheers!