Another "Accident" in Iraq

Created: Thursday, 27 April 2006 Written by Max
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The government gags on the "sorry" word - again, reports Max Gross.

The first officially announced death of an Australian soldier killed in Iraq - by “accidental”, self-inflicting gunshot – was probably of less concern to the Howard government than the subsequent "stuff up" that resulted in the wrong corpse being returned to Melbourne early this morning.

Raving Reporter for Xenox News

The unfortunate late-Private was recognised at Anzac Day ceremonies across the nation this week, and wreathes were also laid in his memory by misguided folk who not o­nly did not know him but knew nothing about him. The desiccated bones of the Anzacs fertilizing the farmland of a certain Turkish peninsula could no doubt relate to that.

Having milked the Anzac Day commemorations for all the usual treacly gravitas in order to continue to justify Australian collusion in the illegal occupation of Iraq, our PM, the Lying Rodent, had also made sure he got as much solemn, “patriotic” P.R. out of the Gippsland Private’s fatal mishap.

Now, as a procession of o­nce reluctant U.S. generals, colonels and majors speak out against the military occupation and the corrupt Bush Regime, the reek of Australia’s involvement in this American exercise in global might, mendacity and bloody mischief increases exponentially.

One can o­nly imagine what the grieving family and friends of the dead Private must be feeling as his burial in Gippsland today with full military honours is held up while the Defence Department tries to locate the right corpse.

So, you might ask, whose body was in the coffin that was flown in to Melbourne?

The preening, puffed-up Defence Minister wouldn’t – or couldn’t – say. Fair enough.

One not very surprising result of the Cole Commission’s examination of the government’s role in the Australian Wheat Board’s wheat-for-weapons bribery scandal is that the nation’s most senior ministers have extremely bad memories and an embarrassingly poor ability to focus o­n their supposed jobs.

The Defence Minister told reporters the Australian government could not apologise.

Well, we all know that “sorry” is a word that sticks in the PM’s throat as badly as those treacherous pretzels U.S. President Shrubbery famously almost choked o­n.

"I am not in a position at the moment to express sorrow, if you like, o­n behalf of the Australian government,” the Minister said, “let's just find out what the cause of it was first.”

The cause of it? Try this o­n for starters:

Deceit and death.

Yes, minister?

This was Max Gross for lest we forget, lest we fake it, lest we fuck up again.