Paul & Heather's Marriage Breakup

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg.

Personally, I think it's prosthetic. News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split.
"He has been my crutch for so long!"
She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend,
"she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out o­n a relationship like this"
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down o­n o­ne knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather. It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is o­ne of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand o­n. Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause.

"She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause.
"Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.
A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed, who will want a o­ne legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.
Loading comment... The comment will be refreshed after 00:00.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 20 years ago
    Always thought those Beatles guys were weird.
    Remember John Lennon?
    He married a bug eyed Jap chick who use to scream instead of singing.
    And the drummer, Ringo?
    Used his spare time to mouth the voices of trains! What a dimwit.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 20 years ago
    You bastards! You heartless fucking bastards! How would you like it if you woke up one awful day, looked in the mirror, and saw that you had become John Howard the gimp?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 20 years ago
    They payed for their paradise...
    and got what they deserve.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 20 years ago
    That missing leg goed. Ya think she had a stump? I knew a guy who fornicated with a stump-legged woman. He said that the closer the little vixon came to orgasm, she would smack him in the back repeatedly with her stump.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 months ago
    Ah Ricky. You were so much more fun 20 years ago. Now you are just a shriveled up Republican
Write comments...
symbols left.
or post as a guest

Latest News

The Year That Is 2026

From The Archives